Book Junkiez

A couple of decades ago, my life hit a wall I never saw coming. Relentless anxiety appeared without warning, quickly escalating into repeated panic attacks, and the many roles I had carried pridefully, and often frantically, throughout my lifetime grew impossibly heavy.

Sleepless nights and a rising desperation pulled me into a spiritual and mental health crisis that began to fracture the carefully constructed self I presented to the world. I felt cut off from even the presence of the God I had loved since childhood.

From my earliest memories, I had lived for the approval of others, auditioning for acceptance in my family and community. I had finally, and later realized, mercifully, reached the limits of my human capacity for energy and emotional engagement. I was unprepared for the truth that my “strength” was far more fragile than I had believed. Afraid of being seen as incompetent, needy, or not enough, I hid my struggle from even my closest friends who could have been trusted to care for me.

I was forced to tend to my exhausted body, mind, and spirit to regain my life. Unsure where to begin, I first visited a doctor (a good start!) and registered to attend a Christian group spiritual direction retreat, with no clear idea of what I was signing up for. In a safe and holy space, compassionate and spiritually grounded strangers helped me see my breaking point, not as failure, but as a necessary part of the divine journey toward wholeness. (Who knew?) 

I began to experience for the first time the resilient truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.”

I would eventually express deep gratitude for the desolation that propelled me into the healing presence of Christ. I entered a season of unlearning, rewiring, and remembering how to breathe again. A new path opened, leading to seminary, Clinical Pastoral Education, and a mid-life calling as a hospital chaplain, where I could bear witness to the pain and joy of others with the same healing I had received.

My companions on that first retreat introduced me to authors, living and long gone, who mentored me through their writings about the essential role of spiritual formation and sacred practices in the life of faith, and I read hungrily. I began to realize that much of my Christian upbringing focused on who God is, yet seldom invited me to explore who I was becoming in Christ. It emphasized serving God but rarely simply being with God.

One book, Sacred Companions by David Benner, stirred my longing for relationships marked by trust, vulnerability, and the courage to be seen (shadow and all). He writes, “If you are making significant progress on the transformational journey of Christian spirituality, you have one or more friendships that support that journey. If you do not, you are not. It’s that simple.”

Courageous people are willing to be fully seen because they have already learned to offer compassion to the unlovely parts of themselves-no small feat. We cannot genuinely give to others what we withhold from ourselves.

When we can extend love and grace inward, we are then fit to become someone’s sacred companion. We will have eyes to see the whole individual, ears to hear their truth without judgment, and compassionate space to surround them in love. 

This curriculum was born from an invitation from church leadership who identified the need for a safe haven to experience spiritual transformation within our community. 

Our first small group included six Christian servants who needed rest and reconnection. We met weekly, sharing from our journals, practicing spiritual disciplines, reading together, and often simply sitting in silence.

We bonded through a shared willingness to be vulnerable, which is derived from the Latin “vulnerabilis,” meaning “susceptible to being wounded.” True vulnerability risks rejection for the sake of connection, and authentic connection heals.

The “Soul Care” ministry was born out of that first gathering and grew organically as the Holy Spirit stirred others who were also seeking soul respite and deeper intimacy with Christ. Many who completed the experience felt called to lead new groups, bringing their own renewed joy, freedom, and sense of belonging to others. 

The need for structured lessons became clear as more groups formed. These chapters were created to share the practices and insights that have been most life-giving for us. This is not a traditional Bible study, though a deep love for Scripture will enrich the experience. It is for those who desire more of God’s Spirit, are willing to be truly seen, and can commit to fully participating.

By saying yes to this study, you are responding to an invitation from the Spirit of God to engage in formation for the sake of Christ’s kingdom. It is no small thing to enter a new experience of Christian community without knowing exactly where the journey will lead. Yet you are here!

Engaging with these teachings and practices alongside companions will help you discover, or rediscover, the divine center that has always been within you, where God’s Spirit dwells with your own. In this astonishing place, God’s purpose is fulfilled as you embody Love on earth.

One aim of this curriculum is to awaken your hunger and thirst for the richness that is already yours in Christ. The hope is that your longing for more of the Living Water and Bread of Life will move you to continue pursuing holy practices, both individually and within community. May Living Soul-Full simply be a springboard to dive more deeply into the ever-abiding Presence of our God.

Key teachings are repeated intentionally throughout the book. It is way too easy to lose perspective when life gets complicated, even after years of practice. Many who return to lead new groups say it feels like encountering the material for the first time, a reminder that the work of being formed into the image of Christ lasts for a lifetime.

So, as souls in communion with the saints who have gone before, may we listen for and discern the invitation to accompany Jesus and one another on the way to living from a healthy soul.

Gratefully, 

Your Companion,

Laura Beth Richardson