Author Archives: Jennifer Reed/ bookjunkiez

About Jennifer Reed/ bookjunkiez

My Niece and Nephew joke that I could open a used book store with all the books that I own. I love to read, that is my addiction. I can't go a week without going to a book store. I love crocheting. I love to write stories and poetry. I also love my family, even though they make me crazy at times. I am a huge Donald Duck Fan.

Heaven’s Ghosts Blitz

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Heaven Maine Mysteries, Book One

 

YA Mystery; Coming of age; YA fiction

Date Published: August 21, 2021

 

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A young boy’s apparent accidental drowning, a mysterious drifter, the town
recluse, a deaf boy who can hear the voices of spirits, and the mystery that
connects them all.

Samson Roe comes from a family of fake psychics his mother being the most
recent perpetrator of the con. However, Sam has a secret that he has not
revealed to anyone, he can speak with ghosts. The only problem is that Sam
is deaf, so though he can hear the voices of the dead the living are silent
to him. When a boy named Kip Green drowns in the picturesque town of Heaven
Maine nobody suspects anything sinister; that is until Kip makes a visit to
Samson and reveals that he believes his death to be anything but an
accident. Together they begin to investigate what really happened and in the
process begin to unravel a thirty-seven year old mystery.

 

About the Author

Anneke Barnard

Anneke Barnard was born and raised in Portland, Maine. She graduated from
Portland High School in 2017 and the University of Southern Maine in 2021.
She lives with her three brothers, mom and dad, and dog Fenway. For updates
on her writing follow her on twitter @barnard_anneke.

 

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Sub Tales: Stories that Seldom Surface Virtual Book Tour

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Poopie Suits Series, Book 7

 

History – US Submarine Force

Date Published: 12-09-2019

 

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Exhilarating true stories from the history of the US Submarine Force. Life
threatening sudden emergencies, fearless rescues, famous skippers,
innovative ingenuity while at sea, a unique baseball game at the North Pole,
a man with an indomitable will to survive in WWII, and a lot more.

Organized by themes, you can read any story alone. An Audio Version has
been narrated by a professional narrator who rode 6 subs himself.  The
nuance, color, and sense of being there clearly comes out in this audio
book. Since its inception, this book has been our Best Seller of our 7 books
with true stories of the US Sub Force.  It has 329 Global Reviews on
Amazon, 88% 4 or 5 Star. If you want to learn something about submarines,
read or hear true stories of men in extremis, and want to know about the men
who volunteered to ride them…This book/audio version is for you.

 

This book is highly acclaimed by both submarine veterans and civilians for
his readibility, accuracy, and the content.

Ranked in Top 10 by Amazon of books of Cold War Genre.

Ranked in Top 10 in Best Submarine Books of All Time by the Book
Authority

The audio book is convenient for those who drive a lot, have vision
impairment, or just want to sit back and listen while they do other chores.

This book is a winner!

 

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EXCERPT 

The Chopper, named for a bluefish common to the rivers of the Mississippi Valley, was one of the Balao-class submarines built during World War II. Shipyards churned out more than 100 fleet boats in this class between 1942 and 1946, making it the largest US class ever. The Chopper was launched into the Thames River at Electric Boat in February 1945. After sea trials, she was assigned to the Pearl Harbor fleet, but the war with Japan concluded before she could complete any war patrols. She was a big sub for the day – 311 feet long, a bit over 27 feet wide, and weighing in at 2,424 tons submerged.

The career of the Chopper spanned 24 years, based at her home port of Key West, Florida. The Navy kept her accomplishments characteristically close to the vest and there is only scant documentation of the comings and goings of the Chopper in the public domain. We do know that she participated in many anti-submarine warfare (ASW) training exercises over the years.

The Chopper participated in the Naval blockade of Cuba during the Cuban Missile Crisis of October 1962. President John F. Kennedy stopped by unannounced for a short visit to the Chopper the following month. Imagine the officers in the wardroom looking up to see the commander-in-chief casually dropping by for some coffee and conversation! Kennedy inquired about their training missions off the Florida coast. A few years later, during one of those routine ASW outings, an unfortunate incident took place that went on to define the Chopper in the published annals of submarine history. It would be her final underway.

The commanding officer (CO) of the Chopper was LCDR Don Forbes, a 39-year old graduate of the US Naval Academy and a career officer. Forbes, a native of St. Joseph, Missouri, originally had qualified on the USS Redfish (SS-395) in the late 1950s. He then served aboard the USS Pomodon (SS-486) and the USS Raton (SS-270)—the latter as XO—before becoming the CO of the Chopper in 1967. Forbes was known as an unflappable sailor with a true zest for life. He cared for, and was respected by, his crew.

During the summer of 1968, the Chopper traveled to the Southern Hemisphere to take part in multinational training exercises with several South American navies. The trip included a traversal of the Panama Canal (the “Ditch”) and a stopover at the Galapagos Islands. The boat returned to Key West in the fall to resume her usual training schedule.

The morning of 11 February 1969 began like most others. That Tuesday morning, the Chopper departed Key West well before dawn along with a destroyer—the USS Hawkins (DD-873)—for ASW exercises in Guantanamo Bay, a few miles off the Cuban coast. Skimmer and sub were operating under fair skies and in waters about 10,000 feet deep.

At 1340 hours, Chopper was making nine knots at a depth of about 150 feet when the Officer of the Deck (OOD) gave a routine order to increase speed. The boat was in a state of normal trim, meaning that her variable ballast tanks both fore and aft had her leveled out nicely. The trim angle gauge or clinometer, which measured the boat’s up or down angle much like a carpenter’s level, was reading steady with a one-degree “down bubble”.

When the OOD ordered the helmsman to ring up Full Speed Ahead, the helmsman twisted the knob on his engine room telegraph, transmitting the order to the Maneuvering Room (“Maneuvering”), a small compartment near the stern between the After Engine Room and the After Torpedo Room. The controllerman standing watch in Maneuvering acknowledged the bell, and the Chopper began to accelerate slowly as the DC battery fed more amperage to the main propulsion motors spinning the propeller shafts. All systems were normal until 1342, when the two motor-generator sets that converted DC current from the battery to AC current suddenly tripped offline, cutting off AC power.

No one is happy when the power goes out at home. An ill-timed power outage while you’re trying to watch the final thrilling minutes of the fourth quarter might be highly annoying, but it is not dangerous (unless perhaps you’ve bet on the game with “Big Louie”…) Power loss on a submarine, though, can be catastrophic. On the Chopper, the lights, sonar systems, internal communications, radios, and, critically, panel indicators—everything powered by AC current—went dead. Compounding the immediate hazards created by the interruption of electricity (and for reasons that were never determined), the loss of AC power also caused the stern planes to suddenly pivot to “full dive”. Within 15 seconds, the bow of the submarine had tilted down 10 °, then 45 °, and quickly to an incredible 75 ° in less than a minute.

A boat that had been in complete control mere moments before had suddenly gone rogue, and the bulkheads became the decks. With the boat’s angle dipping towards near-vertical, crew members were forced to hold on to something—anything—for dear life. They all knew that a Balao-class boat had a test depth of only 400 feet. Within a minute of the AC failure, the bow was nearly 1,000 feet down, and the stern trailed at almost 700 feet. Sea pressure was squeezing Chopper like a vice, and even a pinhole leak might become a shattering torrent in a split second that could smash in electrical panels or cut a man in half.

CO Forbes had been quietly eating lunch in the wardroom when the boat suddenly lurched downwards. Forbes scrambled aft to take his command position in the conning tower, but the short trip became an acrobatic challenge for the skipper as the incline of the deck became ever steeper. By the time he reached the conning tower, it was easier to walk on the bulkheads than the deck.

In the Forward Torpedo Room, the torpedomen stood in front of the racks holding the stored torpedoes, but they quickly realized the futility of trying to stop the one-ton weapons from moving as the bow canted steeply downward. By then, loose objects were raining into the Torpedo Room from compartments further aft – coffee cups, tools, manuals and anything else not secured. Heavy steel deck plates inside the Torpedo Room were not bolted down; they broke loose and added to the multitude of dangers.

Further aft, a crew member managed to close the door between the Torpedo Room and the Forward Battery. Just after he did so, a quartermaster who had been resting in berthing tried to enter the Forward Battery and lost his balance. He crashed into the forward bulkhead, breaking his arm. In the Radio Shack, a large publication locker fell on the radioman. Flying dishes and cups shattered against the bulkhead in the galley. In the crew’s mess, a cabinet holding food condiments burst open, discharging ketchup and steak sauce. Hot coffee splashed to the deck.

The OOD, still in the topsy-turvy conning tower, knew he had to stop the descent before Chopper reached collapse depth. While desperately clinging to anything sturdy to avoid falling into the forward bulkhead, he ordered a speed of All Ahead 1/3rd. In the absence of AC power, he instructed the helmsman use the sound-powered XJA phone system to convey the order to Maneuvering. An ahead bell of any kind would seem counterintuitive under the circumstances, but most likely the OOD failed to realize the true depth or the precipitous angle that the boat had assumed. Much of the instrumentation had been taken offline when the AC bus tripped.

Murphy’s Law reared its ugly head at that moment. The OOD’s order was not acknowledged or even heard in Maneuvering, because the selector switch in the conning tower had been set to the wrong position by accident. Meanwhile, seawater began pouring into the conning tower from the seals for the periscope masts as the hull groaned under the increasing hydrostatic pressure.

The OOD then ordered the Chief of the Watch (COW), standing at the Main Hydraulic Control Station immediately below him in the Control Room, to blow the forward ballast tanks and the bow buoyancy tank. His intent was to arrest the dive by replacing the heavy seawater in those tanks with compressed air, thereby flipping buoyancy from negative to positive and thus lightening the boat.

Another problem cropped up: the air manifold operator was struggling in vain to open the hammer valves that controlled the flow of compressed air. Normally, this action merely required a vigorous turn of a crank for each air bank, but because of the boat’s steep orientation, the operator was unable to muster the strength to necessary to complete the task while trying to keep his feet. He only had one free hand at the time—his other was gripping part of the panel to avoid falling into the bulkhead below him. At least three other men standing watch in Control were also dangling by their arms from various handholds.

Fortunately, a giant of a man from Montana by the name of Jim Butler stepped in. He had left his post in Engineering and scurried forward to Control as soon as the crisis began. Butler managed to pull his considerable physique alongside the air manifold operator and, using his free hand, managed to open the valves. Butler’s heroic deed was the first of two crucial actions that almost certainly spelled the difference between life and death.

The crisis was still less than a minute old. The bow was pointing steeply down, the ship was still maintaining an “Ahead” bell, and despite the emergency blow, the situation was not correcting itself. Although blowing the ballast tanks had slowed the boat’s descent, the depth was still increasing. Men looked at each other in disbelief, muttered prayers and goodbyes to one another, and held on for what seemed like the inevitable as the hull plates loudly protested the increasing pressure.

Just when things seemed hopeless, two of the men standing watch in Maneuvering decided to take matters into their own hands. There was no time for discussion. Without an order from the Conn, Chief Petty Officer (CPO) Ken Taylor instructed the senior controllerman, Jay Arterberry to shift the motors to All Back Full. All experienced submariners know that propellers become more efficient in deeper waters; sure enough, the twin propeller shafts quickly came to a stop and then bit into the water, slowing and finally stopping the boat’s descent. The depth at the bow was estimated to be 1,100 feet. If anyone had done the math, they would have gulped to learn that Chopper was withstanding 36 tons of sea pressure per square foot!

The submarine started back towards the surface, but the roller-coaster ride was not over yet. Between 60 and 70 seconds after the power loss, the bow of the Chopper began to execute a U-turn. The boat swung wildly like a teeter-totter from bow-down to bow-up. With the forward ballast tanks blown, the bow rose to an astonishing up-angle of 83°. Some 90 seconds after the initial power loss, the Chopper was now rocketing toward the ocean surface, completely out of control. They could only hope that the Hawkins was nowhere nearby.

The sound of metal against metal was deafening. Loose objects that had gone flying through the air toward the bow just seconds before were now heading toward the stern. The steep up-angle put the men in the engineering spaces and the After Torpedo Room at the greatest risk for injury. Crewmen who had just picked themselves up from the forward bulkheads were now clinging to them. One of the stewards was struck in the head by a projectile, causing an unsightly gash but no serious injury.

In the Engine Room, Rolan Cook chose to act decisively to shut off a valve to a ruptured water line in the bilge area below him. During the moments when the boat was momentarily level, Cook scrambled to the portal leading down to the bilges. He quickly wiped debris off the hatch and opened it; in doing so, he was struck in the chest by a huge stream of water from below. Undeterred, he climbed down the ladder into the bilges and before the submarine began its dramatic upward swing, he was able to close the valve and stop the flooding. Cook’s courageous action to stem the flooding in bilges was later recognized as another key factor in the recovery of the Chopper from her dire straits.

Despite the order by the Diving Officer of the Watch (DOOW) to “get the rise off the planes”—in other words, to try to tame the nearly vertical nature of the ascent—the Chopper was fast approaching the surface and was nearly perpendicular to it. At approximately 1344, approximately two minutes after the incident had begun, the USS Chopper broke the surface at an up-angle of greater than 80° and a speed of more than 40 knots. The entire forward half of the boat had cleared the surface before the ship crashed back down, stern first.

Even then the ride was not done, for Newton’s third law of motion took over: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Momentum carried the Chopper back below the surface, down to a depth of 200 feet before control was finally regained. She resurfaced a few moments later at a pitch of “only” 40°. At 1345, she came to rest on the surface, dead in the water but still alive. Only three minutes had elapsed since the loss of the AC bus, but to the crew of the Chopper it felt like a lot longer. Hatches were opened, and shaken sailors climbed up the ladders to greet the bright Caribbean sunshine. Somehow, they had defied all odds and come back from what appeared to be certain death.

Structural damage was extensive, but Chopper made it back to port under her own power. Once in dry dock, inspectors recorded a list of wrecked components, including the #3 and #4 motor-generator sets, the #3 torpedo tube, the starboard main circulating water pump, the #2 auxiliary tank, the passive sonar hydrophones, and many other pieces of equipment, all rendered useless. The battery compartment sustained major damage. Much of the electrical infrastructure was ruined by the flooding. The Forward Torpedo Room hatch could not be sealed because the bulkhead had distorted. The experts who evaluated the hull estimated that it had contracted and expanded several inches during the excursion.

The good news outweighed the bad, however, as no one had perished during the improbable ride. The most serious injury occurred to the chief who had broken his arm while falling into the Forward Battery. Another man in the Forward Torpedo Room managed to escape serious harm by ducking just as a section of deck grating whizzed past his head. Everyone’s nerves were shaken, so much so that when men were interviewed in the wake of the incident, many could not recall the precise events that had transpired during those hellish 180 seconds. Several of the crew chose to resign from submarine duty.

Navy investigators determined that the loss of AC power had occurred because of several factors: A relatively low battery charge, the propulsion order for Full Speed Ahead, and the unintended “auxiliary voltage fluctuations” resulting from this convergence of conditions. In the wake of the Chopper incident, the Electrical Operator in Maneuvering was given specific instructions to observe current patterns carefully and to allow surges to properly decay before answering a bell. The deck plates were bolted down to keep them from turning into projectiles. And those relying on the XJA sound-powered phones for communication between Control and Maneuvering were reminded to ensure that the phone settings were properly returned to the default setting after every use.

The unanswered question was: how did a loss of AC power lead cause the after planes to pivot to “hard dive”? No one knows for sure. The planes were controllable by both electrical and hydraulic means, so the loss of AC power alone shouldn’t have rendered them inoperable. However, the indicator gauges that showed the actual angles of the planes went dead when the AC bus failed, meaning that the planesman had no way of determining their actual angle. Did the sailor manning the stern planes overcorrect or miscalculate? Investigators could not say for sure.

Regardless, the take-away was that quick thinking by the crew, especially key personnel in both Control and Maneuvering, saved the ship. Had they not acted independently during the crisis to take decisive action, the Chopper would almost certainly continued descending to her collapse depth.

Ken Taylor, the engineer who had stopped the dive by reversing the propellers, was singled out for his heroism. Jay Arterberry, the senior controllerman working alongside him, received a commendation letter for his service file. Engineer Jim Butler also received a commendation letter for his quick action to help open the air banks in Control, as did Engineer Rolan Cook for his daring trip to the bilges to secure a leaking water valve. In all cases, these sailors did what had to be done for survival. Cook summed up the response succinctly: “Recovery was a result of the entire crew reacting to their training. That is why qualifying for and receiving your dolphins is so important and rewarding.”

The details of this story remained obscure for many years. The initial Navy press release by stated that the Chopper had gone into “an uncontrolled dive” off the Cuban coast but had regained control with no loss of life. Given the chaotic pace of national news on other topics in 1969, the story received little media attention. Meanwhile, an examination of the Chopper in dry dock confirmed the bad news: the extraordinary sea pressure exerted on the submarine had done irreparable damage. She was declared unfit for service, and the USS Chopper was quietly decommissioned several months later on 15 September 1969.

The Chopper was reclassified with hull number AGSS-342. She was towed to New Orleans from Key West, where she was initially utilized as a dockside training platform for the Naval Reserve until that program ended in 1971. Later, the old submarine found her final calling as a practice target for ASW exercises conducted by the USS Spadefish (SSN-668). On 21 July 1976, during such exercises off the North Carolina coast, the Chopper unexpectedly sank after her supporting pontoons took on water, ignominiously ending her noteworthy and lengthy period of service to the United States Navy.

 

 

 

About the Author

Charles Hood

Charles Hood is the principal author, aided by his submarine veteran
brother Frank. Charles is a physician who started helping Frank write his
story (Poopie Suits and Cowboy Boots) and then became so enamored of all
things submarine, he has dedicated 7 years of his life to collecting,
editing, and publishing these fabulous stories so that they are not lost to
time.  These stories of the bravery, the mettle, the endurance of the
men (and families) who volunteer to serve aboard a submarine will make you
go “Wow”.

 

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The Imposed Path Blitz

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The Gem Keepers Saga Book 1

 

Science Fiction

Date Published: 06-01-2023

Publisher: Gem Keeper Creations

 

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I’ve been called Hero, Protector, even an Angel. But to act in this
manner, there must be an act of brutal savagery. Sorrow, terror, pain is the
Hero’s experience. To be a Hero means to live in a nightmare.

My name is Emma, and this is my life now. I remember tales about heroes as
a kid; full of excitement and fantasy endings. But those are just stories.
When I got my powers they seemed exciting and fun; but then reality hit.
Cosmic war, invading alien fleets, and the Stone Keepers; these are my
reality. Those, and other atrocities caused by our own species, overshadow
the hero’s path. Atrocities I’m compelled to act upon, which
leave everlasting scars – others can’t see. Myself, my partner, and my
new friends, are the latest chosen as Gem Keepers. All of the Gem Keepers
before us have fallen to a powerful evil. Now, Earth is thrust into a
timeless war, against an unimaginable enemy. We must somehow unite our
world, or it will all be lost. The ones I love, those who bring me a sense
of happiness, will perish. I refuse to let this happen.

So call me a Hero, call me whatever you want. Just understand this was an
Imposed Path, and it’s just the beginning.

The Imposed Path is the first book in the Gem Keepers Saga. It follows Emma
through her eyes, as she and her new friends are forced into a cosmic war.
Powerful enemies, invading alien fleets, and the dark side of human nature;
is what she must face. Emma’s new found love, and friendships; will be her
strongest tools in overcoming these challenges. This series will dive into
the dark aftermath of Emma’s many experiences – the physical and
emotional impact of being a hero. Pain, sorrow, and terror fill this
journey; will love and friendship be enough. How much can a hero endure?
Will she be able to keep her promise to the one she loves, and Never Let
Go.

 

 

About the Author

Timothy M. David

Timothy M. David is a recently retired 24 year veteran. He is an avid
Sci-Fi and Comic Book fan, but enjoys horror fantasy and crime stories as
well. As a hobby he would write short stories, and came up with the idea for
the Gem Keepers Saga during his last overseas assignment. He enjoyed the
characters and story so much, he started writing his first novel. What was
expected to be a single novel, has now become an estimated seven part
series. He has many other stories he would like to convert to novels, and
make his author dream come true. He hopes people will enjoy his stories, and
become fans of his work.

 

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Things Will Work Out Blitz

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Children’s Book

Date Published: May 2023

 

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Join Jabroni on a heartwarming journey of hope, perseverance, and the power
of friendship…

“Things Will Work Out” is an uplifting children’s book that
beautifully illustrates the value of kindness and hope. With relatable
concepts and a compelling narrative, this book is perfect for young readers
who are just starting to explore the world of literature.

Through the story of Jabroni, readers will discover the power of hard work,
perseverance, and staying true to oneself. With simple yet powerful
language, this book is easy to read and fun to read aloud, making it the
perfect bedtime story for kids of all ages.

The vibrant illustrations bring Jabroni’s journey to life, creating a world
that young readers will want to explore again and again. And as they follow
Jabroni on his path to success, they will learn the importance of never
giving up and the value of true friendship.

For anyone looking for a heartwarming story that celebrates the power of
kindness, hope, and determination, “Things Will Work Out” is a
must-read. So gather your little ones, snuggle up, and get ready for an
unforgettable journey with Jabroni!

 

The perfect bedtime story for young readers who love adventure and
inspiration.

About the Author

Jeffrey A. Oakley

Jeffrey A. Oakley is a children’s book author from Harrisburg, PA. He draws
inspiration from his surroundings and the curious mind of his 5-year-old
daughter, Charlee. Her endless imagination and boundless energy ignite
Jeffrey’s own creativity, and together they explore the world of
storytelling.

As a new author, Jeffrey’s goal is to be the best role model he can be for
his daughter and all the young readers out there. He believes in the power
of imagination and the importance of inspiring children to dream big and
pursue their passions. With every story he writes, Jeffrey hopes to capture
the hearts and minds of young readers and spark their love for reading that
will last a lifetime.

So join Jeffrey and Charlee on their journey through the world of
children’s literature, and get ready to be inspired, entertained, and
enchanted by their stories!

 

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Broken Chapters Virtual Book Tour

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Christian Living / Self-Help

Date Published: 05-15-2023

Publisher: 100X Publishing

 

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A Faith-Building Anthology with True Stories of God’s Faithfulness, Care,
and Power!

Do you have a broken chapter for God to rewrite?

All of us have a broken chapter or two in life—some short in duration
and some long—from deeply disappointing to tragic. In Broken Chapters,
each chapter’s author writes about the way they each personally experienced
difficult situations and how they saw God show up in the midst of their
pain. God is still in the business of restoring joy, restoring fortunes,
restoring identity, and healing broken places today. Nothing is too
difficult for Him.

He does care about you; He does care about what you’ve gone through. He
does care about you finding hope, finding peace, finding resolution, finding
healing, and most of all, finding Him. His eternal pen still writes and
rewrites today, bringing beauty for ashes and working out all types of
circumstances for good for those who love Him and are called to live
according to His plans and purposes.

Now, it’s time for you to be infused with faith and hope for your Broken
Chapters to be rewritten.

 

Broken Chapters tablet

EXCERPT

The Dream Lives

 

“Fetal demise” was what the radiologist said in her side office after the ultrasound. Stunned, my mind had a hard time processing those words. My mother clasped her hand over her mouth, and I sat silently staring at the doctor’s face. After an explanation of some technicalities and trying to help me gain understanding as to what happened, I quietly gained the understanding of there is no heartbeat; your baby died. 

“Do you have any more questions?” she asked. 

Voice shaking, I said, “Can I see the ultrasound pictures?” Somehow seeing those images would at least prove our baby’s existence. I had to see it with my own eyes. At 12 weeks along in our very first pregnancy, this was not the news I was expecting to hear at this appointment. My husband, Chris, was on a business trip, so my mother had come with me to the ultrasound appointment. The due date would have been on her birthday. 

Not knowing what to say, my mother and I trudged to the parking lot. Her tears came as we got to my car. Mine came later, and especially when I had to call Chris to let him know what happened. How do you have a conversation like this over the phone? How do you tell your spouse this kind of news? And what did they mean when they said there was “evidence of a second one” as the radiologist and ultrasound technician were talking? Was it possibly twins?

Earlier this same week, our good friends who had a newborn daughter experienced a tragedy. Their two-month-old suddenly died from a birth defect in her heart that had gone undetected. They were devastated, and we were heartbroken for them. Their daughter’s funeral was two days later. Loss piled upon loss. After the funeral, we told them our news, and more tears came. 

I was scheduled for a D&C procedure several days later. The same afternoon of my D&C, the four of us left for an eight-day road trip. For most of that first evening, I laid down in the third-row seat of the minivan, in physical and emotional pain, trying to come to terms with what had just happened. Our friends needed to get away from their home with an empty nursery, and Chris and I had the following week off without any travel plans—it was unusual for us to have time off without a trip planned. God knew. 

In planning for my ideal life, I’d always thought gee, 27 seems like the perfect age to become a mother. We had been married seven years by then and started out our marriage with a someday attitude about having children. Finally agreeing it was time, this result was painful. It was also painful for our parents. This would have been their first grandchild. 

Waves of loss came over the next days, weeks, and months. The sting of having conversations with people who knew we had been expecting came for a while—family first, then coworkers, friends, and others. As more and more women found out, I was surprised to learn how common miscarriage is. Several women revealed they’d experienced it, too. 

At first it seemed appropriate to let the grief show and to talk about it, but as months passed, the loss was internalized. Who would this person have been? What would they have become? It was the loss of a hoped-for child, the loss of a dream, and the feeling of failure, wondering if the miscarriage was somehow my fault. What could I have done differently? 

I remember one night not being able to fall asleep, quietly crying and praying, the stress unbearable. Lying in bed, as I cried out to God, I felt a tangible embrace. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Suddenly, the spiritual realm we cannot see became a reality. With the embrace, all the anxiety and pain melted away in a moment, replaced by a warm comfort I cannot fully explain. Jesus must have given me a hug, and I desperately needed it. 

There was another time on a lunch break at work when I was in my car, crying. I called my sister at her office. Pouring out all of my fears and concerns, she was a source of encouragement and a caring listening ear. I know she was praying for us. 

During this time, I sought the Lord more than I ever had before. Mostly I was looking for answers, hope, help. My relationship with Him deepened, and a new trust started forming. There was even a time shortly after when a family member was having a difficult time getting pregnant, and I gave them a prophetic word. Sitting on softball bleachers while watching a game, she explained how in-vitro fertilization and other fertility treatments hadn’t worked. They were looking for sperm donors and whatever else might result in a pregnancy. She was feeling desperate. In that moment, I just knew something. I said, “No, you won’t need to do any of those things. It’s going to be Mike. It will work.”

She was skeptical, but we talked about it for a few more minutes, then went on to other topics. About two months later, she called me after taking a pregnancy test. “You’re never going to believe this. You said it, and it’s true—I’m pregnant!” Only God could have given me this information and faith. I was so happy for them! But still sad for us. 

Reading my Bible one day, I had a thought. God has promises for children, right? If He has promises about giving us children and that children are a blessing from Him, I’m going to find all the promises and pray them for us. I will remind Him what He has said and stand on those promises. I scoured the Bible for any and all verses that mentioned children being a blessing from the Lord—verses like Psalm 127:3-5, Psalm 113:9, and Isaiah 54:13. I read them. I said them. My husband and I discussed them. These verses formed a rock in my spirit that could not be moved. God would bless us with children. He had to. He promised. 

With each month passing and not being pregnant, it was still a source of frustration. And my husband’s work travel schedule didn’t make it any easier! Being gone on strategic weeks was, of course, problematic…

When the baby’s due date came and went six months later, something, someone, was missing. 

Around the same time frame, I switched jobs—going from working in a state office as an HR admin to working as a sign language interpreter at a local high school. It felt like a risk to make this transition, but one I had been working toward for several years. It was time. And it kept my mind focused on a new season rather than the season of loss. Two months after that, I took a pregnancy test on a Sunday morning. Positive! I put the test stick in my purse and showed it to my mother at church. Our eyes welled up. Chris called his mother that day to give her the good news. She was ecstatic. 

Even though the rock of faith had been built, I was excited but cautious. I was nervous, happy, fearful, confident, a little bit sick, and everything all rolled up into one. This child’s due date would be in November. At that point, I didn’t care if the due date was Christmas Day as long as the pregnancy went well and the baby was healthy. With every appointment, we prayed all was going well, and it was. 

At 18 weeks along, we had the first ultrasound. What an amazing day that was! Chris was so excited—the look on his face was precious as we saw our baby actively moving around. I remember the technician saying, “We can’t always tell the sex of the baby, but…oh, wait, I can tell. Do you want to know?” Yes, we did. There he was, our son.

I wondered if it was going to be a boy. Several years prior, I’d had a dream in the night. This dream seemed so real and unusual. In this dream, I was upstairs in my childhood home (where my mother and step-father still lived at the time). Sitting on the floor, I had a baby girl in my arms, my daughter, and a very young boy, my son, was across the room. My young son was worried, saying, “Mommy, what is this? What are we doing?” like he wasn’t sure what was happening. I told him, “It’s okay, don’t worry. We’re just here.” And that’s all I remember.   

As the pregnancy progressed, I made it through the strange cravings for Cheetos and bananas, the hot summer days, and having his little head jammed into my ribs. He was breech, and at some point the doctor was concerned. “We need to do a procedure where we manually try to turn him head down before he gets too big.” This was at about 34 weeks along. We scheduled the procedure for the following week—at 35 weeks. Little did they know that I had a defect in my uterus that would have made turning him impossible. 

On the Wednesday of the next week, in the wee hours of the morning, I woke up feeling a small rush of fluid. Honestly, I thought the baby had kicked me and I peed a bit. But somehow it felt different. I got up, went to the bathroom, then went back to bed. That morning, I got to the high school for work at 7:30. Between every single class period that morning, I was in the bathroom. Mind you, that’s not necessarily out of the ordinary for a woman who’s 35 weeks pregnant, but the frequency seemed odd. 

At a late-morning break, I talked to one of my coworkers who had three children. “So…how do you know if your water broke?” I figured she would know. 

Her eyes got serious. “What?” 

“I feel like I have to go to the bathroom all the time today. And I felt something strange in the middle of the night. I’m sure it’s nothing.” 

“You need to go and have it checked soon. Right now.” 

“Really? He’s not due for five weeks, and I’m sure it’s nothing. I’m fine.” 

She insisted I call my doctor’s office. I heeded her advice, and they wanted me to come in, just in case. Their office was only six minutes from the high school. So, I went. I even told the vice principal I’d be back after lunch. Nope.

After the doctor checked, they did find amniotic fluid and I was dilated to three centimeters. “We need you to go over to the hospital right now for a C-section. They will be expecting you.”

Oh no, Chris is hours away at a work meeting. My call to him started out, “Hi, where are you now?” He and a coworker sped back to town as fast as they could. 

Christian Michael was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck three times and wasn’t breathing. The first noise we heard from him was a series of sneezes, then a cry. During the time after the C-section when they stitch you up, the doctor gave me the first news about some abnormalities in my body. “You only have one ovary that works and no fallopian tube at all on the bad ovary’s side.” Well, no wonder it takes a while to get pregnant. 

Being a preemie, they allowed Christian to stay in our hospital room intermittently, going between there and the “special care nursery.” The next day, however, he had to take up residence in the nursery—he had developed jaundice. Along with jaundice, he wasn’t able to nurse well yet, they detected a heart murmur, they suspected he had hip dysplasia, his little nose was squished to one side, and one of his toes partially overlapped another. 

Through all of those things, I experienced the peace that surpasses all understanding as it says in Philippians 4:7. “He’s going to be just fine,” was my reply to any concerning news. And he was. By the time he left the hospital’s special care nursery unit just 12 days later, his jaundice and heart murmur were gone. A few weeks later, it was confirmed that his hip sockets were fine, too. Eventually, his nose and toes looked perfect. By the time he was eight months old, you’d never know he was a preemie. 

Fast forward a couple years, we decided to try for another child. About six months later, I was pregnant. Per my dream, I suspected this baby would be a girl. When I asked two-year-old Christian if he thought he was going to have a baby sister or a baby brother, he answered, “It’s going to be a baby sister.” He was right!

At the ultrasound, there she was, little sister. While pregnant with her, I remember how she would be still most of the night, but as soon as the first voices spoke in the morning, she was immediately active and alert. She was due in December. In September, we were in the middle of building a new house. We put the house we had been living in up for sale, and it sold in one day. So, technically, we were homeless! We moved into my mother and step-father’s large house, taking over the upstairs area. 

One October day, just after he turned three, Christian had a preschool pumpkin patch trip. Moving his booster seat into our truck, I felt the familiar small rush of fluid and had a sinking feeling. I am only 32 weeks pregnant; this can’t be happening again. We went on the field trip, and later that day, Christian and I went out to an early dinner with my mom and sister. I hadn’t felt more fluid leaking, but I did start to feel crampy. After confessing my suspicion to them, off I went to the hospital. My mother took Christian home, and my sister accompanied me. It was confirmed—I was in labor again and my water had a slow leak. 

This time, doctors were worried about the baby’s lungs. “At 32 weeks, they may not be developed enough yet. We need to stop your labor for as long as possible and give her more time.” This was easier said than done. On top of that, they would not allow her to be born at this hospital—the hospital in our town—at this early stage. They did not have the advanced neonatal equipment in case she needed it. I was sent by ambulance to a larger hospital 40 minutes away, where I spent four days laying in a bed, trying not to move, and being given shots to mature her lungs. Chris was splitting his time at home with Christian, working on a couple projects at the new house that had to be completed, and with me at the hospital. The baby was head down, so they were going to allow me to deliver her naturally, especially since she was going to be small. 

After four days, I was sick as a dog because of the shots and the baby started showing signs of distress. She was lethargic and not responding to stimuli. 

“You need a C-section as soon as possible. You will not be able to have a natural birth. It can’t wait.”

Chris made it to the hospital just in time, and this time my sister was able to come into the C-section room, too. The doctor asked what the baby’s name would be, and we said, “Karissa.” As they worked to remove her, she started crying before she was even out which they said was very unusual. “It’s a girl” was confirmed, and I remember my husband crying and saying, “She’s still a girl!” which makes me smile even now. They whisked her away to the NIC unit, and he followed. My sister stayed with me as they worked to finish up.

After the C-section, this doctor gave me the second bit of news about my fertility issues. “You only have half a uterus. Every baby you’ll ever have will be a preemie. They’ll get to a certain size and not fit anymore.” That’s when we decided two healthy children, a boy and a girl, was enough. 

She also gave me another diagnosis: necrotic fat scar tissue, most likely from the previous C-section, had formed in my abdomen and was looped around some of my intestines. Eventually, it would have pinched them off, which could potentially lead to death. She performed a surgical procedure to remove it, then stitched everything back up. Recovery for me this time was difficult. 

Karissa Promise looked like a little doll with velvety hair. According to the NIC unit nurses, they had never seen a baby born at 32 weeks with absolutely nothing wrong with them. She never even had jaundice. She was just small, so she had to stay in the hospital for 17 days until she gained a little weight. 

Looking back on all of this, I can see God’s hand working in so many ways, in so many details. From dreams, to a week’s leave from work with no plan to go anywhere. Not trying to turn my son while in the womb, and all of his post-birth issues being resolved. Then the second C-section process, catching my intestinal problem, Karissa’s surprise perfection, and more. And had that first pregnancy been twins, they wouldn’t have made it. God worked it all out—every little piece. 

A couple months later, it hit me—I was sitting in the upstairs room of my childhood home with a baby girl in my arms and a young son. We lived there until Karissa was five months old and our new house was completed. The dream became reality. 

Despite my abnormalities and our broken hearts because of the loss of our first baby, there was still hope. With trust in God and His plan, I believe we should continue to hope for good to come even after disappointments, loss, and experiencing things we may not understand. 

Today, my children are 21 and 18. We are so thankful for them, and I carry this story in my heart as a testimony of a great work God has done. When we look closely, we can spot God at work in our life’s story—in big shifts and tiny details. 

As a final note, after a conference three years ago, I was talking with a friend named Magnus who is a prophet. He asked about my children, and I told him about Christian and Karissa. He started prophesying about my family and two kids, sharing what he saw God saying. He paused and then said, “Was there a third?” It hit my heart hard, as it still sometimes does. “Yes, there was a baby that we lost.”

My mouth dropped when he said, “It’s a daughter,” and he went on to explain how she’s with the Lord and prays for our family and can’t wait to see us. Even as I type this, it brings up deep emotions. When I got home, I told my husband and kids about this. Karissa decided her sister needed a name and gave her one. So, her name is Karrah. Karrah, we can’t wait to see you either, and we know you are safe in His arms until then.   

 

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.” —Proverbs 13:12

 

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