Author Archives: Jennifer Reed/ bookjunkiez

About Jennifer Reed/ bookjunkiez

My Niece and Nephew joke that I could open a used book store with all the books that I own. I love to read, that is my addiction. I can't go a week without going to a book store. I love crocheting. I love to write stories and poetry. I also love my family, even though they make me crazy at times. I am a huge Donald Duck Fan.

In the Eye of the Beholder Blitz

 

In the Eye of the Beholder cover

 

Victorian Romance, Historical Romance

 

 

Release Date: June 17, 2021

Publisher: Boroughs Publishing Group

THE TRUE BEAUTY

Intellectual, frank, and outspoken, Eleanor Sherbrook is everything a Victorian lady should not be. Her sister Julia is a stunning beauty who can have anyone she sets her sights on – and she sets them on the man Eleanor loves: the gallant and handsome Lieutenant Joshua Griffiths Wentworth.

Brokenhearted, Eleanor leaves England to become a nurse at the infamous British Army hospital in Scutari, Turkey near where Joshua is mired in war. As a member of the ill-fated Light Brigade, he and his comrades make the charge into the Valley of Death.

Thrown together, and forced to face cruelty and loss in a war-torn land, Eleanor and Joshua’s bond grows deeper every day. The folly and glory of the Crimean War forever changes them as they struggle to find a love strong enough to emerge from the ashes of their shared ordeal.

In the Eye of the Beholder tablet


About the Author

Maggie Mooha

I’ve always been a storyteller. When I was little, I used to tell my sister stories before we went to sleep. Most of them were serials – Superman and the like. It never occurred to me until much later in life that I should try my hand at writing.

Most of my career, I’ve been a music teacher. I’ve found music such a help when crafting a story. I actually see the structure of a book as if it was a musical composition. As for the nuts and bolts of my life, I grew up in the Chicago area and was a teacher there for quite a few years. I had a chance to teach at an international school in Tanzania, and spent two years there. After adopting my son, we spent four years at an international school in the Philippines. During that time, I began writing. Now I live in the western US.

Most of my work has been screenplays. Over the years, I’ve won or placed well in competitions. I’m telling you this so you don’t think I sat down one day and wrote a novel out of the blue. I’ve spent many years working and learning.

A long time ago someone called me “an insatiable romantic.” I hope that’s still true.

 

 

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The Dark Lord Blitz

 

The Dark Lord cover

 

When Darkness Falls, Book 2

 

Paranormal Romance, Fantasy Romance, Vampire Romance

Release Date: June 17, 2021

Book 2 of a sweeping romantic saga in a medieval Arabian Nights type setting

Held captive in the Catacombs, Alyssa struggles with coming to terms with the loss of the life she had made for herself in the palace. She also has to learn how to deal with her strange magical powers that everyone but her seems to know she has. And she has to find a way to accept her new life with the ancient vampire who insists that she is his… but doesn’t seem to know what to do with her.

Lord Damien never thought to have a human woman in his life, and this one baffles him. He doesn’t understand his own need for her, but knows only that he must have her, at any cost. He had been prepared for anger and recriminations, but Alyssa surprises him with her determination to accept her new life, as well as her unexpected compassion and humor.

*Please Note, this is a trilogy! Books 1 & 2 have cliffhangers and are not meant to be read out of order.

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Excerpt

 

Chapter 9 – The Craft Hall

Some distance from the city, Damien paused, holding up one hand. “We glamour,” he stated. “Until we reach the Craft Hall.”

Gabrielle and Kayja complied, a faint shimmering disturbing the early morning desert air as all three cast the small spell that would cloak them from untrained eyes. The sun wasn’t yet above the horizon, the days already shortening with the oncoming of fall. Damien focused his attention to the East, storm clouds gathering, building at his command, delaying the effects of the sun on himself and Gabrielle. Kayja, pure demon, was unaffected by the sun’s rising. Damien, with his demon father’s blood, could tolerate the sun until it was fully above the horizon, but Gabrielle would be susceptible to the sun’s influence much more quickly.

They reached the city, moving swiftly past through the lines of those waiting to enter through the huge gates. Passing unseen, the trio headed into the heart of the lower city, Damien leading them unhesitatingly toward the Craft Hall. He knew this city, every block, every stone. He had been here when it was a walled village. Had walked the construction at night as the city was built, the palace towering above all. There was no corner, no shadow, that he did not know.

Most of the shops and stalls were closed tight still, aside from a few stalls dispensing tea and thick bitter coffee, and flat bread with beans and fried balls of ground grain and herbs to early workers. The craftsmen, however, would already be up and working in their high-ceilinged hall deep within the city.

Indeed, the wide double doors of the Craft Hall were open, workers within milling about on various tasks. Standing just within the doors, Damien and his companions shimmered into sight of those nearby. There were startled gasps, then a wave of rippling murmurs, followed by silence, spread through the hall as craftsmen, journeymen and apprentices turned toward the great doors. The tension in the suddenly quiet hall was palpable. There was stirring, shifting of a group at one side of the room, and a man emerged, approaching the trio at the entrance. He was stockily built, with graying hair framing a lined face. Sharp, intelligent eyes held a wary defiance; not outright hostility, but Damien sensed little flashes of anger from the man, who wore a Master’s badge on one shoulder.

He knows your little human,” Kayja spoke on their private pathway. “I see her in his mind, his concern for her well-being.”

Damien gave a tiny, barely discernible inclination of his head, acknowledging her words.

The Craft Master came to a halt some few feet from them, bending at the waist in a slight bow.

My Lord Damien.”

Craft Master Ahmed.”

Damien suppressed his amusement as the man started in surprise. He was Lord over these lands. Of course he knew all those who rose to prominence. Craft Masters, even prominent journeymen who were rising swiftly in the ranks; he made it his business to know everything in this city.

The man made a swift recovery, schooling his face to express polite inquiry. “How may we help you, Lord?”

Again Damien sensed that flash of anger from the man, swiftly suppressed.

We have come for furnishings,” Damien told him, his gaze drifting about the spacious circular hall, sectioned into areas… tables, chairs, beds and divans, lounges, lamps, screens. He brought his eyes back to the Craft Master. “You are acquainted with the young Scribe from the palace?”

A swift startled murmur swept the room, starting with those in earshot who passed word to those nearby. Relief crept into Master Ahmed’s face, and some of the rigidity left his stance.

Alyssa? Indeed, I know her well. All of us do,” and he made a gesture with his right arm, indicating the room at large. “She… she is alive, Lord? She is well?”

A rush of impatience swept him. “Of course she is alive,” he retorted. “What did you think I was going to do, eat her?”

Absolute silence. His lips tightened in exasperation. Obviously, they had. Humans! His stern gaze swept them all, meeting their eyes, commanding their attention.

Do you truly believe,” and he raised his voice so that all in the hall could hear him. “That Zahira, your Sultana, would have permitted me to carry off one of her Court… indeed, any citizen of this city… without being assured that no harm would come to her? You do your Sultana a great disservice in this. Zahira would have gone to war, rather. She insisted upon, and received, my promise that no harm of any kind would come to the girl. She was prepared to risk outright war, had I not given her my word on this.”

The silence continued as the last echoes of his voice faded, then shifting and movement as the men and women returned to their various duties. Noises began to fill the hall…. sanding, pounding, hammering. Damien turned back to the Craft Master. The man was smiling, his relief almost palpable.

What is it you would wish to see, Lord?”

Kayja stepped forward at this point. Her tail was twitching, to the apparent bemusement of a nearby apprentice, a boy barely into his teens who’d apparently never seen a demon before, from his fascinated stare. “We need furnishings for Alyssa. A bed to start. A clothing press. Tables, chairs. These will be delivered to the Temple in the desert.”

Ahmed nodded thoughtfully, gesturing them to an area across the hall. “This way my Lord, Ladies,” he added a bit doubtfully, with a glance at Kayja’s red skin, her curved, pointed black horns and shiny black hooves.

This is excellent,” Kayja all but purred on their private pathway. “The human’s mind is already full of what he calls extras to include with the delivery, for Alyssa’s comfort. At no additional charge.”

I can see his thoughts for myself,” Damien reminded her in some exasperation. Kayja huffed, her horned head tossing irritably.

They stopped before a display room, set back off the main hall, filled with bedroom furnishings. There were massive, carved poster beds, and simpler lounges and chaises. Gabrielle stopped before one, a pretty, low bed with soft sheets and a light throw, topped with several pillows. She leaned down to poke experimentally at the mattress, testing its firmness.

What about this?”

No.” His refusal was instantaneous. Ahmed had moved off to point out to Kayja a monstrosity of a bed with heavy wooden posts carved with fantastic animals, sure to appeal to the demon. Maybe he should have brought Aleksei instead. He turned to Gabrielle, leaning close to murmur. “It’s very similar to her bed in her tower room, in the palace. I don’t want it to be a constant reminder to her.”

As he straightened, his eye was caught by a burst of colors across the way. He moved toward the bed that had caught his eye. It was a combination piece, clearly designed for multiple uses as lounge, bed or sofa. A carved wood base rested on wood legs that rose high to support a flat lattice work above, like a canopy. The mattress was low and large, covered in bright turquoise damask. Gracefully carved spindles rose from the base to a smoothly polished banister, framing the bed on three sides, a warm backdrop for an array of colorful cushions, embroidered and sequined, propped against the supporting spindles.

He was aware of his sister and Gabrielle joining him, Ahmed at a respectful distance.

Gabrielle pursed her lips thoughtfully. “It looks more suited to a patio perhaps, or a balcony, than to a cave.”

Kayja glanced her way. “He already has a stone crypt that’s perfectly suited to a cave. That’s why we’re here.”

True.”

It’s suited to Alyssa,” Damien stated, his tone brooking no argument. “That’s what is important.”

Indeed, my Lord, I think she would love this,” Ahmed concurred. “It would certainly brighten a… a cave,” he glanced at Kayja standing beside him. “If that is your purpose, this would do well. And Alyssa loves the jewel tones. Always, the jewel tones are what draws her. There is a chest for clothing that would go well with this. The workmen could put together a grouping to match, it would take perhaps a day or two, no more. Floor cushions, a chaise lounge. A mirror set into a mashrabiyya frame.” He warmed to his theme. “We could create an inlaid table using the same wood, the spindles, and inlay the top with hues to pick up the colors from the cushions.”

Damien nodded decisively. “Bring this bed and the chest, and whatever else you have made now, to the Temple by mid-day. Then the rest as it is completed.”

Ahmed bowed low, far different from the stiff, polite gesture he’d offered when they had first arrived. The man exuded good will.

It shall be done, Lord.” He paused. “If you would send some of your human servants to the city, Lord, the bed will need to be disassembled to transport. We will show them how to put it back together again.”

Leaving the Craft Hall, they again assumed a glamour. Gabrielle hurried for the distant Catacombs, using the preternatural speed of the vampire to outrun the rays of the sun, rising swiftly now above the mountains to the east. Damien, his demon blood making him less susceptible, took longer in following, strolling leisurely through the streets with Kayja as they made their way to the great gates of the city and then taking flight for the longer distance to the mountains.

Entering the Catacombs, Damien made his way to the Great Hall, ringing the bell that summoned the khadam and the other human servants not immediately in service to the vampire they looked to as Liege.

His indifferent gaze scanned the humans gathered before him. “A number of pieces of furnishings are being delivered to the Temple later this morning. At least two males are needed for the heavier pieces. Also I need one of you to visit the Woodworkers Craft Hall in the city for instruction in assembling the parts.”

Instantly two men stepped forward, and several women. One, a bubbly, rounded redhead, jiggled in place, seemingly excited.

Is it for Alyssa?” she asked, apparently flushed with excitement. “Is it a surprise?”

He turned his full gaze on her, little red lights flickering in his eyes. Fangs extending, he snarled at her. She gulped, visibly paling, and the humans closest to him fell back a step, watching him warily.

Not deigning to answer the woman, he turned on his heel, stalking away to his private chambers, where Alyssa still lay deeply asleep, faint smudges beneath her eyes. The sleep of exhaustion. He stood looking down on her. Yesterday had been difficult for her. He must remember she was mortal, and young. He reached down to stroke her hair, his fingers slipping through the short, silky strands.

A surprise. The idiot woman’s words came back to him. As if. He was no fairytale prince. And yet… an image arose in his mind’s eye. Alyssa’s eyes alight, her gasp of delight, her radiant smile as she saw the furnishings.

He straightened, turning away, dismissing the notion with a flick of his hands. He was vampire. Demon. An ancient. He had no place in his world for such human nonsense. And yet the image could not quite be dispelled, lingering in the back of his mind.

When Darkness Falls Trilogy

 

Other Books in the When Darkness Falls Trilogy

 

 

When Darkness Falls Book I: The Palace

Released: June 3, 2021

When Darkness Falls Book III: The Prophecy

Release Date: July 1, 2021

Amazon

About the Author

Allie McCormack

A former career medical transcriptionist and disabled Veteran, Allie McCormack is now writing from home full-time. Allie has traveled quite a bit and lived many places all over the U.S., and also a year in Cairo, Egypt as an exchange student, and a year in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia under contract to a hospital there, plus a short stint with NATO while she was in the Army. Allie now lives in the beautiful southern California with her family and her two rescue cats.

Allie says: “A writer is who and what I am… a romance writer. I write what I know, and what I know is romance. Dozens of story lines and literally hundreds of characters live and breathe within the not-so-narrow confines of my imagination, and it is my joy and privilege to bring them to life, to share them with others by writing their stories.”

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The Reunion Tour

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Murder Mystery

 

Date Published: 2017

Chris Singer, former homecoming queen, stumbles in the dark in front of the high school where her reunion is taking place. She is brutally murdered. A fire breaks out in the gym and the ensuing chaos leads to the discovery of Chris’ bloodied body. Since David Wilson, her boyfriend from high school, is one of the last people to be seen with Chris, he is arrested for the crime. Detectives are sure they have their man, but his wife isn’t so sure. Her questioning leads her into secrets and lies from long ago. The danger she meets is real and deadly.

 

The Reunion tablet

 

EXCERPT

The Reunion

Prologue

 

The first time she fell, thick branches caught her fall. Her silky dress, ripped above her knee and waist left bits of fabric clinging to the bushes. Some dropped on the ground. 

A final push did the trick. With blurred vision and leaves in her mouth, it was hard to yell out although she tried.

“Get away from me! I never liked you!”

The words were muted like an echo in the desert swallowed by emptiness.

Down

Down

Her head exploded with pain when it hit something hard. Earthy smells filled her nostrils.

Pain was a carpeted path to nowhere.  Darkness circled the periphery of her vision. She longed for sleep and when it came at last, she stopped worrying about the blood.

So much blood.

So much… 

 

LISA

 

I didn’t want to go to that stinking reunion in the first place. What are they really for anyway? A place where the former homecoming queen gets to shine for a night again, the cheerleaders can snub their peers and the band guys can brag about sneaking cigarettes behind the bandleader’s back?

What was I in high school?

It’s no secret I was one of those snobby cheerleaders who wouldn’t give the math geeks the time of day. They sure got their revenge. The head of my high school’s math club started his own dotcom, sold it for a zillion dollars and, last I heard, was living in Paris. Marvin Ziegler had had a major crush on me, which he couldn’t hide, but I never took him seriously. I was too caught up in being part of the popular crowd…too caught up in myself.

High school social dynamics can be like that. Can be full of regret.

But the only regret I have right now is going to David’s fifteen-year class reunion.

This office reeks of furniture varnish. The interior designer obviously likes dark wood since every wall is covered with it except one wall of windows. His massive desk has drawers on all sides. It looks French provincial but who really knows besides the decorator. A thickly cushioned chair seems a match for the room’s tone: rich and distinguished. Degrees and photos with important people line the wall like sentries. Carpet colors are muted probably to keep his clients calm. But calm is not how I’m feeling. The receptionist asked me to wait for the man himself to appear like he was God incarnate or at least one of the disciples. He was running late from a previous appointment but would he be as understanding if I were running late? Doubtful.

Where do these guys get their sense of entitlement? But I elect to sit on a couch by the window wall so I could at least amuse myself as I wait.  

David’s late too. I check my phone for the time. Five minutes past our scheduled appointment. Glancing out the window to the street below, I watch a family try to pile into a minivan. The dad yells at the mother across the top of the car probably something like, “Get in! We’re late for T-ball.” She hurriedly gets in, as does the young son in the back seat. The teenaged daughter, however, stands her ground. Not surprising. She stands forlornly on the curb looking anywhere but at the minivan. She checks her nails as the car speeds off, screeches to a halt and then backs up just as fast. The mother and father both yell out the window at her, wave her towards them. She doesn’t move no matter what incentive or threats they throw at her. A scene I’ve seen us perform over and over ad nauseam.

Ten minutes. I wonder how much this guy charges per hour. At this rate, it’s going to cost us a fortune.

 

DAVID

One week earlier

 

I seem to live my life stuck in traffic. This freeway gets worse every day but I think there’s an accident up ahead. We’re moving less than usual this morning.

I sip my coffee and my gaze falls to the gas gauge. I thought Lisa said she would fill up the tank yesterday. She borrowed my car for her latest commercial shoot downtown. I shake my head and frown as the arrow on the gauge is tilting alarmingly towards empty. That woman doesn’t seem to know what planet she’s on half the time. 

To amuse myself, I stare out the grimy windshield at other weary travelers. We all have somewhere to go but we’re not going to get there anytime soon. The dashboard clock reads seven-ten meaning I’m already late for the early morning meeting. Principal Morse will duly note my tardiness and there will be a stern note in my mailbox. Sometimes it seems he disciplines me like I discipline my ten-year old son. Now I know how Ben feels.

We sluggishly begin to move, haltingly, an inch or two at a time. As I connect to Bluetooth to call in, I catch the woman in the next car over waving at me. Great. My tire must be flat or something. I roll down the window.

“What?” I yell over at her. “Is something wrong?”

“David? Is that you?”

And then I recognize her: it’s Chris Singer or whatever her name is now. She was homecoming queen in high school and I haven’t seen her in years. My eyes dart between her and the road. I don’t want to plough into the car in front of me but a siren is calling. Long blonde hair, dark glasses dipped on her upturned nose. A frilly blouse showing deep cleavage. She still looks amazing.

“Chris? Yeah,” I laugh. “It’s me. Nice to see you.”

Her gaze roams my face. I hope that piece of tissue isn’t still stuck on my chin where I cut myself shaving this morning. 

“Hey! You’re looking good. Are you going to the reunion?” Strands of hair sprinkle on her face like glitter.

I slam on the brakes just before hitting the car I’m trying to avoid. Perspiring, I turn back to the gorgeous woman still watching me.

“Haven’t given it much thought. Why?”

“It’s our fifteenth. You’ve got to show. I’m helping plan it and it’s going to be fun. Please come!” She smiles with a pouty redlined mouth that flings me back to some sweaty back seat action in my dad’s cool Camaro many moons ago. The smile turns seductive and she knows what’s going through my mind at warp speed. I was always putty around her and she knew it. “I promise I’ll behave.” It sounds like she doesn’t want to.

“Maybe. I’ll see what’s happening that weekend.”

“Good. It’s coming up fast.” That beautiful face turns up the wattage. She wiggles red-tipped fingers at me. “Can’t wait to catch up. See you there.” Her row of cars is moving at last and she’s gone before I can wave goodbye. I blink wondering if she was actually there at all.

My day moves at a glacial pace through class after class with students who don’t have their homework, the dog ate their homework or they weren’t aware they even had homework. I’ve been teaching long enough that I wouldn’t even bother with homework anymore but it’s mandated by school policy. So I continue to nag kids with ineffective words I’ve said a million times.

Meeting Chris Singer accidentally in traffic this morning remains the highlight of my day. Home is normally a safe harbor. 

“Megan, put that phone away. We’re having dinner.”

She slams it on the table. “I’m expecting an important call, Dad.”

“From the president of Harvard or Stanford?”

“Funny. You know I’m not going to either of those places.”

“Not with your grades.”

Lisa intervenes by picking up the platter of food and handing it to me. “More meatloaf?”

I shake my head.

“Don’t you like it?” Her smile fades and her pout reminds me of Chris’ this morning. I catch myself before my lips curve up. Or think I do.

“What’s that smirk about?” She drops the platter back on the table with a thud. Juice from the meat slops on her hand. Before she realizes it, Lisa pushes her hair back with the meat-stained hand. My curved mouth has a field day.

“What?” she demands.

It’s times like these when I remember what I always liked about her. She can be a dork, a sweet dork but a dork all the same. It’s an appealing quality.

“You’ve got meat loaf in your hair, sweetie.”

Her eyes open widen comically until she realizes what I’ve said. The kids begin to laugh and she has the good grace to laugh too. Endearing little lines crinkle around smiling eyes. The stained hand strays to her pretty chestnut hair on reflex and I reach over to stop her.

“Your hair is already a nice color of brown, honey. Sauce doesn’t really match.”

Ben laughs so hard that the bite of meat loaf in his mouth drops back on his plate. Megan scrunches her nose at him wrinkling the freckles she hates and flicks her napkin at him. Before a food fight starts, I throw up my hands.

“Who’s loading the dishwasher tonight, since dinner is apparently over?”

Megan pokes Ben in the arm. “It’s Pudgy’s turn.”

“Don’t call your brother that, Megan. It’s not nice.” Lisa gets up to stack plates by the sink.

“Well, he calls me stuck-up.”

“And are you?” I ask.

“No,” she says shrugging a shoulder. “I’m just choosy who I hang out with.”

“Nevertheless,” continues Lisa, “don’t make fun of Ben.”

“Yeah,” Ben sneers, “I’m sensitive.”

Megan stalks off to her room, phone pressed to her ear. Lisa wanders towards the den mumbling about preparing for the next day’s shoot. I want to talk to her about something when Ben comes up behind me.

“Dad?”

I turn to face him. “Yes, son?”

“I, ah.” He coughs, clears his throat. “I need to talk to you.”

Stupidly, I glance at my watch. He catches it.

“Unless you don’t have time.”

I shake my head. “No, no. Of course, I have time. Let me help you with the dishes. Talk to me.”

We’re rinsing dirty plates and glasses before stacking them in the dishwasher. My heart stops when he finally blurts out he’s being bullied at school. I lay a hand on his shoulder. “How long has this been going on?”

“Since school started.”

“That long?” My mouth drops open. “Why haven’t you said anything before now?”

He blushes, my smart, wonderful son actually blushes. “I wanted to take care of it myself.”

“And have you?”

“Not quite.”

I turn on the dishwasher and go back to the dinner table. I pull out a chair for him and motion for him to sit. “Tell me what you need.”

For the next half hour or so, Ben tells me what has been going on and what he needs from me. What he plans to do. I nod my head in wonder that I helped create such a brave boy. I agree to do as he asks and we decide to talk more this weekend. In a fog, I go into the office to talk to Lisa about it but she’s on the phone neck deep in conversation with the other photographer for tomorrow’s shoot. She’s stressed to the max as usual and now is not the right time to tell her about Ben. Or maybe she already knows. We haven’t been able to connect much these past weeks. I also want to mention the reunion coming up. She didn’t have much fun at the ten-year one, so that’s another subject that sticks in my mouth. 

With Lisa in the office working, Megan in her bedroom talking on her phone, Ben on his computer playing a video game, I realize no one will notice that I’m not there. I write a note anyway and leave it on the kitchen table. I have to go back to school to set up tomorrow’s lab. Once I do that, I think I’m heading for the nearest pub. I need a beer.

 

LISA

The next day

 

Hair and makeup are taking their sweet time but I guess that’s all right. The freaking director hasn’t even shown up yet. One of the crew said they’d had a late one last night, so I assume that means we’ll all sit on our collective asses while we wait for the prince to make an appearance. The air conditioner doesn’t seem to be working right and it’s got to be one hundred degrees in the shade outside. Phoenix in the summer isn’t for the faint of heart.

Everyone’s listlessly milling around. Everything is set up. The latest model is sitting on a chair in the center of the all-white background we’ve arranged for this commercial. While her makeup is being retouched, the guys are checking their equipment, rechecking the lighting. Several bottles of shampoo sit on a table off to one side, basking in their colorful glory. Buy me, they seem to say, and your shiny hair will get you noticed. I shake my head. Shampoo won’t make you as pretty as this model, but that’s the story we’re trying to sell. I walk out of the busy area to clean my camera lens. Glancing back, I wonder for the millionth time what I’m doing shooting commercials. One of the tech guys kisses the model’s graceful hand and everyone laughs. That small action clicks memories of last night in my mind like a series of frames on film.

David snuggled into my side and woke me with his cold feet.

“Hey! Get some socks on.” I tried to turn away from him but he threw an equally cold arm around me. “Where have you been? Sitting in the refrigerator?”

“No,” he chuckled, softly blowing tiny puffs of air in my ear. “But as long as you’re awake…” He traced my profile with kisses and turned my face to his. As soon as he pressed his lips to mine, tenderness switched to passion from the word go. I marveled at the instant connection that had always been there between us and melted into him without thinking. He smoothly turned up the heat until we were writhing, sweaty and desperate for release. 

His fingertips pressed into my shoulders.

His mouth smashed into my mine over and over. 

His long body weighed heavily as he took what he needed, allowed me some as well. David always had that magnetism, the ability to make me feel like…that’s it. Just making me feel. 

Breathing subdued, I could hear the faucet dripping in the bathroom and the red roar that had ripped through me quieted to a tipsy tiptoe. Lying there, I felt drunk from the taste of him, wondered why the bed was swaying. He didn’t spring up as usual, dash into the bathroom to do his man business and stagger back to fall instantly asleep. 

He stayed put. With his sticky body pressed to mine, I needed to move.

“David?”

My hands tried to push him back. He responded by grabbing my face and planting kisses everywhere he could reach. I could feel him hardening against my thigh.

“Again,” he whispered in my mouth.

“David.” I pushed again. “We both have to get up early. Get some sleep.”

“No.” He rose up on his hands to look me directly. “I feel like I’m losing you.”

I blinked. Where in the world had that come from?

“Honey, I—”

“No. Show me how you feel, don’t tell me.” He sounded mildly anxious, his eyes wide and wary.

“You have an early meeting tomorrow. I have to drop the kids off at school before the shoot. We need to—”

He quickly moved away, swung his legs off the bed. “We need to connect once in a while, damn it, Lisa. When was the last time we made love?”

My mind blanked. “It was, um, probably…” The words trailed off and died as I tried to remember.

He jerked upright, grabbed a bottle of water from the nightstand and chugged it down. I watched the muscles contract in his throat as he swallowed. His anger was palpable and inevitable as he leveled his stormy gaze on me.

“It’s been five months. Five damn months.” A bushy brow arched. “Did you know that? Do you care?”

I pushed up to a sitting position, wringing hands that suddenly had nothing to do. “Of course, I care, David, it’s just that—”

“Do not give me any lame excuses about our fast-paced lives, careers, kids, whatever.” He sat down on the bed and reached out to place his hand on mine. The air in the room stilled.

“Tell me straight: are you having an affair?” His voice was so low that I had to lean toward him to hear.

“An affair? Why would you think that?” I pulled my hand out from his. “How dare you!” I shivered uncontrollably, got out of bed and stormed into the bathroom. I flicked on the light and turned. “I can account for every nanosecond of my day, you bastard, and,” I crossed my arms, stared at him, “how convenient for you to turn this on me. You’re the one who’s always going back to the school at night supposedly to set up labs and then you come home horny and smelling like beer! What am I supposed to think?”

During my tirade, he’d sauntered closer until we were nearly chest to chest, both breathing hard. Keeping our eyes locked, he palmed my breasts, ran his hands slowly over my quivering body. A traitorous finger outlined the lips I knew so well before my hand curled around the nape of his neck to draw his face closer to mine. It wasn’t common sense; it was chemistry. 

“Lisa! You with us?” The director prince snaps his fingers before my face.

“Yeah. Yes, I’m here.”

“Well, you sure looked nine million miles away and we need to get busy here.”

I don’t bother to mention that we had been waiting an hour for his grand entrance because I want to keep this job. Or do I? As I click away trying to show the plastic bottle with the golden liquid in its best light, I decide I have to. On the plus side, I’m my own boss—when I have a gig—and we need the money. Megan will be going to college in four years and her college fund is seriously lacking. Ben’s braces cost a bundle and David’s teaching salary won’t pay for everything we need. Right. It’s so wonderful being a two-salary couple.

I move to shoot different angles. So what if my professional dream has always been to see my work hanging in a gallery somewhere. If I’d learned anything from having to work since the age of fourteen, I learned that you can’t always get what you want. I think the Rolling Stones said it first. 

The model shifts prompting hair and makeup to rush back in. I stop to reload my camera. 

 

MEGAN

 

“No, I don’t want any. Get away from me.”

“What the fuck, Megan. I thought you were cool. Guess not.”

“I may not be cool but I’m not stupid either. Go away, you freak.”

The skinny boy throws up hands with rings on nearly every finger. “No need for name-calling. I thought I was helping out. My mistake.” He steps away tripping over the long laces of his untied combat boots. A teacher standing in the open doorway glances from him to me with disinterest and goes back inside. I take a few calming breaths before opening my locker. Baby fine hair falls in my eyes and my shaky hand pushes it back before reaching in for my social studies book. Two girls with matching white polo shirts with Greenbrae Jr. High written above a front pocket suddenly flank me.

“What did Tyler want?” asks the girl on my right.

“Whaddya think?”

“Come on, Megan. You’ve got to loosen up,” says the other girl.

I turn to stare at her. “What are you talking about, Allison?”

“Don’t give us that crap. You’re wound up tight and need to chill.”

I swing my head the other way. “I need to… chill? Really, Brooke?”

Slamming my locker, I turn completely around and lean against it. The metal feels cool through my thin shirt. My feet shift sluggishly as if I were up to my ankles in mud.

“Yes, really. All you do is bitch about your parents…”

“…Or brother,” adds Allison. “So we thought—”

“You needed a mood enhancer.”

I stare at them both. “You guys sent Tyler over to me?” And I thought they were my friends.

Allison shrugs. “Just a pick-me-up. We all do it. Thought you wanted to hang with us…”

Weighing my options makes my head spin. Eighth is so much harder than seventh. One minute I’m a kid and the next—I’m not sure what category I belong in anymore. And with high school breathing down my neck next year, I’m sure to be in for a rocky ride. A quick decision is called for.

I smile. “Maybe you’re right. It’s been awful at home lately and—”

“Parents still fighting?” asks Brooke. I fall in step with them as we’re heading for class.

I heard angry voices late last night. My parents create a happy front but both Ben and I are beginning to worry about them. All is not as happy as it seems. 

And Ben… 

Brooke and Allison babble on about their terrible lives while my mind drifts. Although we’re at the same school, Ben is in sixth grade and in a different wing. I rarely see him but I did catch a glimpse in the cafeteria last week. Some big boys were crowding him, messing with his glasses. It had bothered me at the time but I forgot about it soon enough. 

Allison gets on her phone and in a flash, Tyler swings around the next corner heading right for us, sneaky look on his scruffy face. I swallow hard enough to know something is choking me but the four of us duck into an alcove, a small storage area where the janitors keep mops and pails. A few minutes later, we emerge with big smiles heading towards the exit.

 

DAVID

 

The gym smells like old sweat socks stuck in an abandoned locker for five years. Bright yellow signs advertise the success of past basketball teams and a red scoreboard flashes numbers off and on. An electrician perches on a tall ladder attempting to figure out the problem. Daren goes in for a layup just as I charge him. The basketball hits the backboard but refuses to go in the net.

“Foul, Mr. Wilson!”

“Come on, Dylan,” I wipe the sweat off my face with the bottom of my shirt. “We’re just playing a friendly pick-up game here.”

“There’s still rules and you fouled him.”

Daren flashes gleaming white teeth at us both. “I like your style, Dylan, my man. How’d ya like to get in my homeroom instead of Mr. Wilson’s?” He grabs the ball out of Dylan’s hands and moves in for the shot. Once in the net, the basketball drops onto the polished floor but no one makes a move for it. The three of us just stand looking at the ball with perspiration dripping off our faces. Damp shirts become damper. The electrician snips a wire and steps down the ladder. We watch him fold it up, swing it under his arm and walk out of the gym. The huge wall clock reads five o’clock.

Dylan runs over to the sidelines, retrieves the basketball and starts walking towards the boys’ locker room.

“Hey! Where you goin’?” I yell after him.

“I’m goin’ home. You two try to figure out how to play basketball.”

Daren and I exchange ill-concealed smirks. “What’s the fun in that?” Daren calls out to an empty gym. Dylan’s gone, along with the ball and our game. 

I pick up a towel from a side bench. “That’s what we get for trying to be nice guys, playing a little one-on-one with the kids after school.”

“Yeah,” Daren chuckles. “No good deed goes unpunished.”

“Who said that? Hemingway?”

“No, I did.” He angles his head at me. “Didn’t you just hear me?”

I plop down on the bench, reach over to retie my sneakers. They’re torn and ugly but are still the best shoes I’ve got for basketball. Does that mean I’m stuck in a rut, superstitious or just cheap?

Daren folds his long body on the bench near me. He stretches arms out that must have a wingspan of five feet. If he were a bird…

“Okay. So it was a piss poor joke.” He cracks every knuckle on both hands while I watch mesmerized. “How’s Lisa?”

And I’m back in the bedroom alternately having fabulous sex with my wife or trying to get answers from her. I suspect I got more sex than usual to quiet my questions. Or were they accusations?

“Yep. She’s a stone fox.”

Not what I want to hear right now.

“Dave? What’s cookin’?”

“Nothing.” I look over into an earnest face. “She’s fine. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just a question, not an inquisition.” He stares at me hard. “I ask about your wife and you ask about my dog. It’s our standard icebreaker into conversation.”

“Sorry.” I shake my head, trying to clear the cobwebs away to make a clear picture. “I’m just preoccupied, I guess.”

“With what?”

A shoulder moves up and down. “If it’s not the job, it’s the kids. If it’s not the kids, it’s the wife or the relatives or emptying the rain gutters or fixing that loose front step before the mailman blows the whistle on me. A big one is how I’m going to find the money to send Megan to college, much less Ben.”

“Whoa. Calm down, boy. I didn’t want a dissertation.”

“And you’ll never get one from me because Lisa got pregnant and I had to drop out of grad school before I could finish my PhD.”

He reaches out a hand, pats my arm. “You’re worked up about something and it has nothing to do with all that family stuff. Out with it.”

I stand, start to walk away. 

Daren won’t have it. “Talk to me, man.” 

Turning back, I exhale a long breath. My arms hang limply at my sides and my feet shift from one stance to another. All the air in the gym seems to have been sucked out. The air in my lungs went right with it. The scoreboard begins to sway and Daren pulls me back down on the bench before I keel over. He pushes my head between my knees.

“Breathe, buddy. You’re hyperventilating. What the hell?”

The little white dots flickering before my eyes slowly begin to fade but the acidic taste in my mouth doesn’t go away. The fear I feel is as real as Daren’s concerned gaze looking right through me.

“This is serious. Tell me something, anything or I’m going to see if the nurse is still here. You havin’ another panic attack?”

I don’t want his anxiety kicking mine up any higher so I shrug. I feel the words forming in my mind, slipping into my throat and attempting to spill out my parched lips with no success. Licking with no saliva doesn’t help.

“I, ah…”

He grabs a bottle of water from his backpack by the bench and hands it to me. “Here. Drink this.”

The water splashes in and I swirl some before swallowing. I’m hoping the words are swallowed too but Daren won’t let up. It’s not like I want to admit this.

“I think… Lisa’s… fooling around.”

His jaw drops to the gym floor as he’s caught unaware. For the first time, I notice the glistening sweat on his dark skin. It’s like my senses are on full alert and I see, no, I observe for maybe the first time in months. The minute hand of the clock staggers noisily forward. One tube of the overhead fluorescent lighting isn’t working way over in the far corner of the gym. It will take me twenty-eight steps to walk to the exit and the trees beyond the high windows are swaying to a light breeze. Phoenix could use a breeze or two. It’s been hotter than the hubs of hell lately.

He’s still staring at me.

“No kiddin’?”

“Don’t think so.”

“How do you know?”

“Her work schedule is crazy and she talks about her boss all the time. Every conversation I’ve heard her have with the other photographer on this shoot is about how cute the guy is, how talented, they make these chick jokes.”

“Chick jokes?”

“Yeah.”

“Like what?”

“I walked into the office last night and heard her say she’d like to get her ‘some of that’.”

“Women say that shit all the time to each other and it doesn’t mean anything. You’re taking what she said out of context.”

I think about that for a minute. “Maybe.”

“Maybe, nothing. You guys are the happiest couple I know. You’re my standard for how a marriage should be.”

I cocked my head. “I fear for you, Daren. We’re a long way from ideal.” Yeah, if marriage means having sex once every five months, then sure. Put us on that pedestal.

“You look like you just swallowed a bug.”

“I’m having trouble swallowing anything these days.”

I collect myself, stand and begin walking across the gym. Daren falls in step with me.

“Let’s go have us a beer.”

“Lisa doesn’t like me smelling of beer when I kiss her.”

He drapes a long arm around my shoulders. “Trust me, buddy. You can use a beer and a big step back.”

My face pinches as I try to understand. “A big step back into what?”

“Out of yourself. That big old spotlight of life is shining the bejesus out of you and you need to take five. Come have a beer.”

“Maybe just one.”

I think I hear him mutter you could use five but I don’t respond. He’s right. I need to step out of myself for an hour and learn how to breathe normally. These short, anxious puffs aren’t filling my lungs and they’re making me light-headed. I could use a trip to Tahiti. 

Halfway into my first beer, I get a call from the school. Ben’s been hurt in a fight and they’ve called an ambulance. That last gulp threatens to come up as I ask what hospital they’re taking him to and then rush out of the pub without informing Daren. He follows me and jerks the keys out of my shaking hand.

“You’re in no condition to drive, man.”

“I haven’t even had one whole beer.”

“That’s not what makes you unable to drive. You’ve lost all face color and for a white man, that’s saying something!” He points to the passenger seat. “Get in. I’m driving.”

Mumbling about being bossy, I climb into the car still shaking. “Hurry up before I pass out.”

He starts the engine, backs out of the parking lot. “Not gonna happen as long as that adrenaline is coursing through your veins. Sit tight. I’ll get ya there…in one piece,” he adds for good measure.

I close my eyes but all I can see is a selfish guy complaining about his sweet wife while his son gets beaten up by bullies. Where was I? Why wasn’t I helping Ben? Because he asked me not to, that’s why.

It’s not good but it’s a reason.

Daren drives too fast and we’re there.

Later that evening

 

I get Ben home from Emergency with a black eye, cut lip and taped ribs. The guys he told me about jumped him after math club. When I asked him why, he said because he wears glasses. That made no kind of sense whatsoever and I try to get Lisa on the phone. Again. She doesn’t pick up and it’s like the tenth time I’ve tried to call her. Her shoot must be running over and I have no idea what the location is this time. I realize I forgot to ask her. But I make a mental note to tell her she needs to check her phone frequently just in case. 

In case of what? In case I’m freaking out about not being able to find her? Maybe this is my problem and not hers. Seductive Chris Singer stalks my brain and I wonder where she is too.

Medical science has done all it can for Ben and he’s asleep in his bed. I pace the living room wondering what to do next. It’s too late to call the school. I want to talk to the principal. With the phone in my hand, I leave a message for Megan to come home, she’s late too, and then I call the cops. 

“I’d like to report that my son was beaten up at school today.”

“How old is your son?”

“He’s ten.”

“Were the assailants under eighteen as well?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll need to speak to someone in Juvenile Court. I’ll switch you over.”

A stern voice lectures me about not drinking and driving for a couple of long minutes until another equally stern voice breaks in.

“Dan Stevens here. May I help you?”

“I’d like to file charges against two boys who beat up my son today.”

“I can take some information by phone, but I’ll need to have you come down for a longer deposition. And I’ll need pictures of the damage sustained by your son.”

“Fine. What do you need right now?”

“Your son’s name, age and a brief summary of what happened. Like I said, I need to have you here to make and sign a formal statement before we can take any action.”

“Okay, his name is Ben Wilson, he’s ten years old and in sixth grade at Greenbrae Junior High School.”

“Is that school in north Phoenix?”

“That’s right. Anyway, he told me last night that some boys were bothering him but he planned to take the problem to his counselor to handle it.”

“What were they bothering him about?”

“They call him names like geek, nerd, four-eyes since he wears glasses and apparently adopted him to bully.”

“Cyber bullying as well?”

“Ben didn’t mention any.”

“We’ll come back to that. What did the counselor do?”

“He called the boys in and tried to do an intervention. After that, they hunted Ben down and beat the crap out of him. He’s a mess.”

“All right. Let me get my calendar out to make an appointment for you to come down some time tomorrow. Hang on a second.”

I’d been pacing all over the house with the phone pressed so tightly to my ear that I’m getting a mild headache. Checking on Ben again, I absently walk into the office where Lisa’s computer is sitting on the desk. She always uploads her photos to her computer when she’s working to get a general feel for the shoot. She develops photos in a small dark room we’d set up for her use since not all of her work is digital. I’m surprised to see the computer sitting open and I sit in the desk chair to take a load off.

Stevens takes his sweet time finding his calendar and I turn on Lisa’s computer to check my email. Boy, I shouldn’t have done that. Front and center is an email to her from a Marv Ziegler. It’s not a love note but there’s something personal going on between them that I’m reading between the lines. I check past emails and there’s several from Ziegler and Lisa back and forth to one another. Maybe they weren’t chatting but it hit me in the gut all the same.

“Mr. Wilson? You there?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” I reply dumbly as I stare at the illuminating monitor.

“Could you come in tomorrow at five?”

“Where?”

“Here’s the address. Got a pencil handy?”

I blindly jot down the time and address on whatever is close by. I can’t drag my eyes from the computer. 

“See you tomorrow, Mr. Wilson. Don’t forget the pictures of your son’s injuries.”

I nod instead of replying and the phone falls out of my hand.

Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t jump to conclusions.

I’m jumping to conclusions as I tell myself not to. I can’t help it. The evidence is right before my eyes. I only suspected Lisa. I guess there is something going on and who the hell is Marv Ziegler? My mind warns me about self-fulfilling prophecies, but I don’t listen. Did I want her to be having an affair? Is that what I’m thinking? Just because I’m having a few lewd thoughts about Chris Singer doesn’t mean that I want Lisa to be having similar thoughts about some jock she knew in high school. Or some beefy director on her latest photo shoot.

I’m forgetting to breathe and another panic attack is taking over. I swing away from the desk and my head goes between my knees. Second time today. If this keeps up, I’m going to ask the doc for Valium. Life is hitting me between the eyes and I need, what do the kids call it? A mood enhancer. Tahiti would be better but I can’t afford it and spring vacation is two months away.

I need to get a grip and find my wife.

 

About the Author

SJ SLAGLE

SJ SLAGLE started her writing career as a language arts teacher. Her initial interest was children’s stories, but she moved on to western romance, mysteries and historical fiction. She has published 24 novels, both independent and contract. SJ contributes regularly to guest blogs and her website is www.sjslagle.com. SJ has established Twitter and Facebook fan bases, a quarterly author newsletter and a website under her pseudonym: JEANNE HARRELL at www.jeanneharrell.com.

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The Message on the 13th Floor Blitz

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The Message on the 13th Floor cover

YA Paranormal Mystery

Date Published: May 25, 2021

Publisher: Fire & Ice Young Adult & New Adult Books

 

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When Meghan’s mother suddenly disappears without a trace, she and her two
little sisters are the first to notice, and the only ones who seem to
care…

The problem, of course, is that her mother likes to party, so when she goes
missing, Meghan not only has to take care of everything at home, but she
also has to search for her, because her mom has a bad habit of disappearing,
so no one else is officially looking. That is until Meghan begins to receive
mysterious messages, almost as if someone or something is guiding her to a
haunted hotel in Manhattan, where people say an elevator game will take
riders to the mysterious 13th floor. Some say it’s an entrance to hell,
others a portal to another dimension. Either way, Meghan must brave the game
in hopes of discovering the truth behind her mother’s disappearance.

About the Author

Winter Lawrence

Winter is an award-winning author who lives in the moment and loves nothing
more than being surrounded by her family, her fur-babies, and a ton of great
reads! When she doesn’t have her nose stuck in a book, she’s usually
thinking up far away, fantastical worlds or she’s cooking up a storm in the
kitchen!

Because of her love for all things literary, Winter pursued a Master of
Arts degree in English Literature and Creative Writing. Professionally, she
is a manuscript editor and, in her spare time, she enjoys posting book and
movie reviews.

In her private time, she is an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, and
paranormal romances, and one day she hopes to inspire young readers in the
same way her favorite authors continue to inspire her today.

 

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The Forget-Me Knot Blitz

 

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Paranormal Romantic Suspense, Ghost Romance, Time Travel Romance

 

Release Date: June 15, 2021

When a beloved heirloom bridges the past with the present, can a young woman bury her dead to build a future with the living?

Portland, Oregon, 2018

Natalie Lane has never been in love. Twelve years after her father’s premature passing, she’s still caring for her heartbroken mother. Determined to avoid a similar future, Natalie focuses on her therapy practice instead of romance. But when a man claiming to be a ghost enters her office, a man only she can see, she realizes that her overworked mind might need a rest.

Fearing a nervous breakdown, Natalie goes on sabbatical to England, leaving everything behind except her cherished Celtic trinity-knot pendant… her forget-me knot. Before she can relax, however, the man appears again, stalking her throughout the British Isles.

And her problems only mount when a visit to a local pub reveals an eerie connection to a former life and love. The more she learns about her past, and her necklace’s link to it, the more Natalie’s much-needed vacation turns into a journey of self discovery that threatens her very soul.

Can the forget-me knot’s secret help Natalie leave her past behind so she can finally find true love?

The Forget-Me Knot is a captivating standalone supernatural novel. If you like paranormal ghost romances with a time travel twist, historical fantasy, and stories drawn from real past-life experiences, you’ll enjoy this enlightening tale.

The Forget-Me Knot paperback

 

Excerpt

 

2006

The freshly mowed lawn’s distinctly green scent mingled with the earthy aroma from the rectangular hole cut deep in its surface. The morbid perfume made my empty stomach queasy. I looked away to stare instead at my patent leather shoes, riddled with grass clippings and morning dew. Like a threadbare scarf, the pastor’s monotone voice hung uselessly in the crisp April air. He mentioned my name, Natalie, then June, my mother, and paused. In the silence, I shifted focus. My gaze drifted from my shoes and slowly scaled the silver stretcher just feet away, holding the dark, wooden casket.

I struggled to breathe. It was as if the shiny box lay on my chest, allowing only shallow breaths to escape.

Just days before, Dad left for Lane & Frost Architects, carrying his briefcase in one hand and his favorite plastic travel mug in the other. He raised the cup, revealing pictures of me, minus a few front baby teeth, smiling from beneath the clear acrylic cover. He gave the mug a brief shake, like a wave. I rolled my eyes at the former Father’s Day gift, then offered a new smile, now covered in braces.

Goodbye, John! I love you,” Mom said.

Dad puckered his lips and blew her an air kiss before walking out the front door. As he descended the steps, I watched him crane his neck and take a sip of coffee, avoiding a drip, then two, bound for his brand-new button up. Despite the cup’s many leaks and overall lack of insulation, he filled it to the brim daily, regardless.

Offering Mom and me another smile, Dad backed his Super Beetle out of the driveway, covering his front teeth with his tongue to mimic the mug’s picture. Then he waved goodbye. Minutes later, in an intersection less than a mile from our home, Dad’s car was no match for a speeding utility truck whose driver ran a red light. When Mom received the call, she rushed to the scene, but it was too late. We later learned Dad’s last words were: “Tell my wife and daughter I love them.”

The first responder, a police officer and bowling buddy who was with him until the end, now stood next to me, sniffing periodically. I saw his reflection in the casket as he wiped his nose with the back of his gloved hand. Although it was thoughtful of the officer to attend, I wished my dad and his reflection were standing beside me instead.

Heavenly Father…” The pastor’s voice caught my attention once more and drew my focus back to the crowd. From the reaction I saw in those surrounding us, I imagined his eulogy was moving, with powerful words that evoked tears in most of the attendants. But I didn’t hear those words, or maybe I couldn’t. Instead, I again gazed at the casket and the somewhat distorted images on its polished surface.

Mom stood on the other side of me, wrapped within Grandpa Lane’s sturdy arms. My other grandparents had already passed, but Poppy, as I called him, was always there for us, standing in for those who could not. With his daughter-in-law propped against his black dress jacket, Poppy rested his chin on her head and held on tight. A gentle, rocking sob grew from the depths of her broken heart and clung to the casket as the squeaky pulley lowered Dad into the earth minutes later. The police officer reached over and pulled me close. Although I didn’t know him well, I held on to the man and openly wept, staining his dress blues with my heartbreak.

Above my sobs, I heard Mom next to me and could only imagine what she was going through. I had lost my father, but in my mind, I believed her grief was much worse. She’d lost her soulmate.

I dried my tears, and with the pastor’s prompting, I left the officer’s side and stepped toward the hole. I wasn’t ready for goodbye, not yet. So I looked down and tossed a single red rose into the lonely depths and whispered, “I’m going to miss you, Daddy.”

I continued to stare at the casket while others moved forward and offered their roses and whispers until the wooden lid was scarcely visible. You’re loved, Daddy, I thought. Wherever you are, I hope you know just how much.

The crowd dispersed, and the bereaved walked to their cars. Some headed to our reception afterward; others went back to their lives and their families. Many hugged me when they passed. Despite their embraces, I felt empty, alone.

Thanks for coming,” I said again and again. Hearing myself repeat those words brought the extent of my loss into focus. Barely sixteen, I felt as if I’d aged many years in only a few days, and life as I knew it would never be the same. That knowledge was reinforced when I heard Mom still crying behind me. I turned to see her head buried in a handkerchief as Poppy propped her up.

While Mom searched for a dry spot on the square of fabric, I studied Poppy’s furrowed brow and his tight lips that served as dams for the tears he struggled to suppress, meant for his only son. His anguish grew in the ever-deepening creases of his down-turned face, and he seemed to age right before me. My grandfather was a rock, but I’d just learned that even strong men didn’t live forever.

Standing there at that moment, watching my loved ones crumble, I vowed to be stronger, especially for Mom. I faced forward and tried to clear my thoughts, then dried my tears, promising to fight them in the future.

Later that night, I lay atop my covers, staring at the shadow-filled ceiling as the moonlight streamed into my room. When Mom’s sobbing finally subsided, the old house grew silent briefly before offering a series of creaks. The noise soon built into a familiar dance, coinciding with the rustling trees outside my bedroom window. It sounded like my parents’ recent tango lessons in our front room. Their missteps and the laughter they evoked, which had mingled with the floorboards audibly resisting their movement, was still fresh in my memory.

The tears I had promised to fight loomed beneath burning eyes. “I can do this,” I said in a shaky voice that almost mimicked the creaking house. “But I wouldn’t mind a little help.”

I sat up and stared at my closet door for several seconds before leaving my bed to cross the room and open it. I stepped inside and grasped for the ceiling light’s pull chain that dangled in the darkness. Once I made contact, I wound my fingers around the chain and yanked the light to life. From a top shelf, behind old toys and spare blankets, I withdrew a shoebox. I opened the lid to reveal the treasures hidden inside: several ticket stubs from high school football games, a twig, and a stick of gum. All were items my latest crush, Bobby Flynn, had once touched, discarded, or stepped on in the twig’s case. Bobby was tall and ripped, hot by everyone’s standards. The quarterback even smiled at me once. I couldn’t fit that leg-melting grin into the box, but the memory saw me through more than a few failed math tests and a nasty stomach virus.

I slowly closed the lid and caressed the cardboard surface, hoping the simple gesture would evoke an image, a feeling, anything that might help me forget my life for a while. Such an action, something I’d never revealed to anyone, had offered comfort on many prior occasions, and I’d hoped it would again. This time, however, I didn’t feel a thing. I closed my eyes and tried once more. Sadly, Bobby’s once cherished image vanished into an enormous, rectangular hole in the ground.

I opened my eyes, clearing the scene from my mind. “Not even my secret Crush Box can make this hurt disappear,” I mumbled. I ran my hand across the lid a few more times but still felt nothing. Disappointed, I tucked the box under my arm and tiptoed down the hall, through the back door, and into the night.

Across the patio stood Dad’s pride and joy, the barbecue, the same one he had grilled hotdogs on the weekend before. I opened the lid, allowing the moonlight to bring everything into focus. Bits of charred and half-cooked sausage stood at attention as I removed the grates and leaned them against the grill. Above the briquettes that remained, some still intact and only slightly ashen, I placed the shoebox, then doused it with lighter fluid. I removed the red lighter that dangled from a hook attached to the grill and clicked the trigger. The long flame glowed in the darkness, and I stared at it for several seconds before touching it to the box. As the fire leaped into the night, I wondered if I’d ever meet someone I’d love as much

as Mom loved Dad. After seeing how her heart had shattered in the wake of his loss, I also wondered if I’d ever bother looking.

About the Author

Denise Liebig

Denise Liebig is an award-winning author whose modern characters experience the past through time travel, reincarnation, the paranormal, and other twists of time. A fan of everything vintage, her desire to be a fly-on-the-wall during the early 1900s inspired her to research that era, which soon launched her writing career. When she’s not imagining stories about the past and writing about them, Denise lives in the present with her husband and three kids.

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