Memoir
Date Published: December 11th, 2025
Publisher: Acorn Publishing
sometimes, despite our deepest wishes and most sincere prayers, the body has
other plans.
Vincentia Schroeter dreams of building a family of her own and expects an easy
pregnancy. She imagines following in her mother’s footsteps, surrounded
by the love of children. However, when complications mount, she must face the
likelihood that her wish will never come true.
As her sisters bear children, and women all around her share their happy baby
news, Vin grows more envious than ever. The frustration continues as hard
truths test her patience and faith and medical professionals deliver
devastating blows. The only thing she knows for sure is that she is determined
to become a mother.
A story of one woman’s harrowing path through trauma and
disillusionment, Babymaking is a heartfelt memoir of vulnerability, rupture,
and repair. Vin’s journey reminds us that hope and unconditional love
have the power to lead us to the place we were always meant to be.
EXCERPT
The pain rips through my left side. I’m woozy, trying to keep from fainting. I’m in the hospital cafeteria waiting for surgery. Words float around me. Someone is talking to me—my husband? My eyelids are heavy, but through hazy slits, I can make out two doctors in white coats running toward me. Within seconds, I’m placed in a wheelchair and rushed down a hospital corridor. Every twist and turn hurts my belly like I am riding a bucking bronco. I’m six weeks pregnant. Every thought is on my baby.
As I’m wheeled into the elevator, a bump from the raised metal transition strip jars my insides. We move from the elevator into a white room.
This pain is familiar. I know what’s happening to me because it has happened before. My fallopian tube has burst, and I am bleeding internally. I know this means the baby will die. I know this means I could bleed to death.
My pelvic cavity is filling with blood; pain rises up through my body, stabbing my shoulders like knives. A somber team in scrubs moves quickly around me. I shake with cold as they lift my body onto a gurney to prep me for surgery. No one talks to me. Urgent hands snap on green gloves and attach masks. I feel poking and prodding. I smell latex and rubbing alcohol. I am so cold.
I shorten my breath to maintain some control. My brain twists into a fuzzy cloud, and I am grateful because it pushes down my rising terror.
In my imagination, I see a waiter pouring merlot into an oval wine glass. I want him to stop, but he is blank-faced and unmoved. He continues to pour until the glass overflows. The red wine spills onto the white linen tablecloth, flows off the table, and pools onto the floor. I can’t do anything. Even though this is my house. Even though this is my body.
A wave of alertness pulls me out of my shivering. Masked faces do not look into my eyes, so my panic rises. I worry they won’t care about me.
I grab Steve’s arm and say to him, “Tell them I need to know what is going on.”
Before they take me away from him, Steve tells the doctors and nurses, “You need to walk her through this and reassure her.”
They nod.
He looks at me warmly and squeezes my hand. As they wheel me into the operating room and anesthesia makes me fade, all I can do is surrender and breathe and wonder, Will I ever be a mother?
Vincentia Schroeter grew up in a small town in central California as the
fourth of twelve children. Intrigued by the many different personalities in
her family, she knew by the age of sixteen that she wanted to be a counselor.
She put herself through college and graduate school in order to pursue her
dreams.
Vin is the author of the award-winning self-help book, Communication
Breakthrough: How Using Brain Science and Listening to Body Cues Can Change
Your Relationships (2018). She also co-authored a training manual on somatic
psychotherapy that has been translated into three languages.
After a forty-year career as a psychotherapist listening to clients’
stories of pain and trauma, Vin felt drawn to share her own story. She now
lives in San Diego with her husband Steve and enjoys pickleball, painting, and
time with family, including her dog, Ren.
Instagram: @vincentia_schroeter
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