Guidance in How to BE rather than how to DO
Self-change, Self-empowerment, New Thinking, Communications Skills,
Change Management, Conscious Living
Date Published: 5/15/2025
Publisher: Serapis Bey, Arizona, USA
In this age of ‘busy-ness’, stress, anxiety and the constant
feeling of having to do, this book will help you to remember that we are
human BEings and not human DOings.
You will find perspective, and guidance to be, and all the ways that being
can enrich your life and bring calm and peace. This book will help you to
quieten your mind and live according to your most important ways of being.
It is full of personal anecdotes and real-life experiences to give you
practical help to be. There are uplifting affirmations and life lessons to
support you as you find your way to being and no longer feel compelled to be
doing. You can find your raison d’etre through the guidance contained in
every chapter.
EXCERPT
Chapter 1: Being Confident
“I Have Confidence”
Sung by Julie Andrews
We all have those moments of self-doubt, and thoughts of not being worthy or of value. That we are going through our daily activities as an imposter not truly knowing what we are doing or how we are achieving what we are. Not having the belief in ourselves to speak up and express how we truly feel. Moments of lack of courage in our convictions because we are uncertain of ourselves.
I can recall very vividly when I began my career as a lawyer many years ago in England, my self-doubts and total lack of confidence. I was fresh out of Law School and commenced my training with a law firm which I joined because it was created by the person I was articled to. I was truly thrown in at the deep end, having to work with clients in every aspect of the law. I had no trust in my ability, nor that I could be of any use and help to my clients.
This lack of self-belief, and that I was not up to the task or job, is nothing unusual. A survey by KPMG in 2020, Advancing the Future of Women in Business, for example, found that 75 per cent of 750 high-performing executive women who were one step away from being executive-level managers within a company, reported having personally experienced imposter syndrome at some point in their career.
This lack of confidence is not only associated with work. Think of all the times that you have wanted to ask someone out on a date or ask for a discount on a product that you so want to buy but cannot afford at exactly the price it is being sold for. Or when the food in the restaurant is not cooked the way you wanted it, but you do not have the courage to tell the waiter to take it back to the chef to cook the meat a little more.
On all of those occasions you do not believe in yourself to be able to speak up, and face possible rejection. You do not feel that you are good enough. You worry about what people think of you, and because you are concerned that they do not understand how you are feeling with no idea of what you are doing, you cannot ask for help.
Let’s go back to young Alicia, anxious, afraid, and feeling totally out of her depth as a fresh new lawyer. Without confidence and insecure. What could she do? She had to build on the experience of success. She should have considered what she had achieved – written down the successful client outcomes – and reflected on them rather than the mistakes. Even, viewed the mistakes as a successful way of learning and growing. Instead of being afraid of facing the client and feeling that she had to know everything, and be everything, she had to realise that she could say; “I will get back to you on that.” Giving her time to learn and develop her knowledge. Realising that sometimes we do not have the answers immediately. Knowing that when someone throws a ball at you, you do not have to catch it there and then. You can let it drop and pick it up when you feel able to do so.
Okay, so that building of confidence applied to my work situation. But you can apply the sentiment in all aspects of your lack of confidence.
YOU are unique. Even if you are an identical twin, you are still different, and YOU are special.
Much of my coaching and teaching is about my students feeling confident and raising their self-esteem so they can speak in public. To be able to talk in a meeting, give a presentation, handle an interview, or tell their story. Senior executives, world leaders, young people, older people, all share the same lack of confidence when it comes to talking to groups, or even one person when they have to share themselves in some way. I give them the tools and techniques to overcome their fears and to make them effective when they speak.
I think about students from many years ago contacting me now and through the years telling me how their lives were changed because of my training and teaching. Why? Because it was about them knowing and putting into action the realisation that whenever you speak or communicate, you are always in control of your communication. I never know what you are going to say, so I never know if you have made a mistake, unless you highlight it by apologising or fumbling.
Being confident is realising that you are in control of your narrative and your story. It is exactly that – yours. As soon as you believe in the gift of you, and share that with your audience, and the world, you can truly express yourself with power.
Indeed, your superpower is YOU! Every time you speak, or write, you are expressing your story, your take on events, your opinion and your beliefs. And I have the opportunity to learn from you, to get to know you and to grow with you. In those moments when you do not believe in yourself, I want to step into your power – the power of YOU.
Step into your light and shine brightly to act as a beacon of light for me, and everyone, to bask in.
Step into being fabulous YOU, and share that with me, and everyone.
In my first book, Communicating Through Change, I ended each chapter with an Affirmation to help my readers literally affirm the guidance that I had given. The recommendation was to say these out loud to yourself every day. The response to this was very positive because it truly helped each person to help themselves with the knowledge shared.
So, here I go again to help YOU, dear member of Team Alicia.
Let’s go back to the wonderful song title referenced at the start of this chapter, which contains a line that reminds you, to trust in yourself.
Being Confident Affirmations
I trust myself.
I believe in me.
I am in control and in command.
I am confident.
I am being confident.
About the Author
Alicia Sedgwick is an English professional corporate trainer, communication
coach, international bestselling author, speaker and Master of Ceremonies
based in the Principality of Monaco, with an extensive background in the
entertainment and events industry.
She has been featured in international webinars, podcasts, blogs and
e-zines from India to Australia, and from the US to Vietnam. Her
communication and confidence-building training clients, include corporate
CEOs, non-profit associations, foundations and educational institutions. Her
private training initiatives range from providing communication skills to
international refugees from war zones and countries in conflict, to coaching
seasoned executives in confrontational situations before key shareholder
groups.
Her first book Communicating Through Change (2021) has been described as
‘life-changing’ and shows readers how to communicate through
major changes in their lives. It is packed with real-life stories, practical
exercises, insightful tips and uplifting affirmations. Addressing relevant
challenges, which everyone meets at one time in their life, this book gives
hope, resilience and clarity about how to move forward.
Alicia is known globally as The Communication Coach and Expert and leads
Team Alicia to help people to cope with and share their experiences of
change, as well as to learn how to express themselves with confidence and
power. Alicia has been through many unexpected and traumatic changes in her
life, which she shares in her first book in intimate detail, to help people
know that they are not alone and there are ways to embrace change and
thrive.
She delivers training about soft skills development and communication
skills for numerous private companies and non-profits. She has created
public speaking and communication curriculum for the International
University of Monaco and also teaches undergraduate and Masters level
students. She designs and executes public speaking training courses for the
International School of Monaco, and she oversees their annual TEDx Youth
Event.
Alicia has moderated international press conferences at the Olympics,
hosted three TEDx conferences, and managed red carpets for the Laureus World
Sports Awards. She has managed Talent Relations for the BBC Chelsea Flower
Show in London, and in the “Green Room” of the World Music
Awards.
A London city-trained lawyer, Alicia has worked as a professional mediator,
specialised in conflict management. She was also co-founder and managing
director of Absolutely Monte Carlo, an Event Management company, and Monte
Carlo Media Inc. A professional blues singer and stage performer for more
than 25 years, Alicia has hosted her own Internet TV Show and international
Radio Show. She has a very high level of energy and is caring, motivating
and inspiring.
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