Tangled in Ribbons Virtual Book Tour

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Erotic Romance

Date Published: 11-25-2024

Publisher: Chocolate Cake Reads

 

 

On a trip that goes awry from the start,…

Vicky and Michelle, best friends since childhood, rented a cabin for a last
hurrah together before Michelle’s upcoming nuptials. The day of their trip,
Michelle receives an email with proof her fiance cheated on her. The two
women head to the cabin anyway to escape the chaos of a cancelled wedding.
Neither of them expected the cabin to already occupied by three sexy
guys.

Vicky’s snowed in with three hot guys…

When Michelle’s ex shows up unexpectedly to set the story straight and asks
to meet her at a nearby hotel, Vicky gets snowed in with the three men,
where things get even hotter! It starts out as happy fun times, but what
happens when none of them want to let go?

What else is she supposed to do to pass the time other than them?

 

Read “Tangled in Ribbons” to find out if they salvage their
friendships when jealousies, insecurities, and realities intrude in this
snowed in, why choose adventure.

 

This is fully consensual, why choose erοtic romance with MFMM and
limited MM action. For a list of sex
սal activities included in this book, please check out
https://www.pennyheartbooks.com/#books

 

Contains extensive explicit sexսal language.

Tangled in Ribbons tablet

EXCERPT

Chapter 5 

Taylor needed to go to his room. He needed alone time after seeing Vicky’s breasts bounce in her sweater every time she moved. It was clear to him she wasn’t wearing a bra, only one of those silky tank top things women sometimes wore under sweaters.

Her breasts swayed in a way that drew his attention, but her nipples were the real giveaway. They were so… pinched in the cold, winter air. It was a surprising challenge to keep his eyes from drifting back to her chest. He could spend hours staring at her breasts, but he wasn’t a creepy asshole, just a regular asshole.

Taylor liked breasts in general. He might describe himself as a breast man, though he found something to like in all women’s bodies. Most of the time, he gravitated towards lithe, lean women with perky, smaller breasts that fit snugly in his hands. Vicky’s were full and heavy, but it was hard to stop himself from staring. When her nipples poked out, it was hard to keep from groaning out loud. 

As soon as he got behind his closed door, he would revisit those tits in his mind. Within a few minutes, he’d release his cock from its prison. 

For now, he schooled his expression into the charming smile that generally convinced women to do whatever he wanted. It seemed to work, though he wasn’t quite sure why he was so invested in Cole’s little fling. 

It was difficult to believe they were talking about snowmobiles. All he could think about was how much he wanted to tit-fuck Vicky and then fuck her throat with his long cock. Taylor wondered about the color of her nipples and if they were big. They were probably big to go with her big tits. Fuck, she had great tits. He could imagine them wrapped around his cock as he— 

Fuck. He needed to pay attention and get his mind off her curvaceous body. Even if he did want to know what noises she made when he sucked on those tits. 

He had a brief flash of guilt before he squashed it. Vicky made her choice already, and she wasn’t his type anyway. Physically, she was curvier and rounder than the women he went for, but more than that, she was too… confident. Yeah, and too much in control. 

That reminder helped him clear his mind a little, and he tuned back into the conversation. Taylor reminded his friends about their scheduled plans, gave the women a reasonable suggestion they’d be stupid to pass up on, and spoke with his friends for a few minutes before they separated. At last, he was on the way to his room to let the beast out.

Cole was suspicious of his motives, and maybe he should be. Yeah, Taylor wanted Cole to get laid, but he would be lying if he said his interest in the voluptuous Vicky—ugh, he hated diminutive names, especially during sex—was entirely for his friend’s pleasure.

He walked casually to avoid drawing attention, and he reminded himself she was too sexually aggressive for his tastes. More power to her, but it wasn’t what he liked. He liked to be the one in control and had no interest in fighting for it with a woman. 

Even if it was far too easy to imagine this woman tied up with the holiday ribbons that decorated every damned shelf and stick of furniture in their rental. Christmas was a month away, but the cabin had everything but a Christmas tree. Hell, each of the four posters of his giant bed were wrapped in red ribbon to make them look like candy canes. He could think of better things to do with that ribbon. 

Once the thought appeared, all he could think about was her pale skin and long dark hair in contrast against the red ribbon. She’d look fucking gorgeous tied to his bed, her wrists bound in a festive bow and attached to one of the posts. That would be better than his favorite tie. He shut the door and leaned into his fantasy. 

Taylor would leave her legs unbound, but maybe another ribbon would work as a gag. Yeah, they’d need something to try to muffle the sounds he knew he could pull from her reactive body. She looked like she’d be a screamer, and he would make it his mission to draw as many screams out of her as she could give. 

But no blindfold. At least not the first time. He’d want to see her eyes as he demanded her orgasms. She’d watch as he teased her pussy and plucked at her nipples. He would toy with her body, bringing her to the brink again and again before her come filled his senses and coated his tongue.

The decorating ribbon was too thin to make a good sex aid, but no matter. He had a few lengths of Shibari rope in his suitcase. Though he hadn’t planned to seek out a holiday liaison, something spurred him to toss them in his suitcase at the last second.

Taylor wasn’t heavily invested in the BDSM scene, but he enjoyed bondage. He also knew more than basic and intermediate knots and harnesses. It appealed to his need to manage every aspect of sex, and he got off on the visual of a restrained or bound woman.

He was grateful he brought the rope, until he remembered Vicky had already chosen Cole. While he knew Cole wasn’t serious about her, he also knew his friend wouldn’t pursue a casual relationship lightly, regardless of what he said.

“Besides,” he reminded himself under his breath, “she’s not my type. Yeah, she’s sexy as fuck, but I want control, and she seems far too bossy. Unless she’s the type who needs someone else to take control and tell her what to do for a little while. Hmmm. That could work. She did seem damned stressed. I could ease her burdens for a while with my rope and my cock.”

Taylor grew harder the more he thought about Vicky tied to his bed and at his mercy. He imagined her big eyes, wide with excitement, as he explained the steps of the simple handcuffs he would make. His mind conjured the image of his dark red rope against her creamy, pale skin. Maybe he’d wrap her waist and luscious tits, too.  

His cock strained, and he palmed it through his pants as his thoughts stayed on her voluptuous breasts. He wasn’t used to this. Most of the women he fucked were thin and had smaller tits and ass, but Vicky looked like she’d be a handful. And her tits looked real, firm yet soft. Her nipples were prominent when she first entered the cabin the previous night, and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about them.

And then there was Vicky’s ass. Taylor never obsessed about asses much at all, but hers made him reconsider. If her hands were tied to the bed, he’d have to make sure he could turn her over and fuck her from behind while he played with her round ass. Spanking wasn’t a favorite, but he couldn’t stop thinking about his red handprints decorating her pale globes.

“Damn it,” he grumbled as he unzipped his fly and grabbed his cock. 

Why was he thinking about her? He wouldn’t be able to fuck Vicky. If anybody was going to fuck her, it was Cole. And the guy needed it more than he did. Taylor would be stuck with his hand and imagination. However, his imagination was already filled with images of the sexy winter siren and what he would do with her, his ropes, and a few hours alone.

In his mind, Vicky stretched beautifully across his bed, with her perky breasts seductively and artfully wrapped by the soft cotton of his bondage rope. Her arms arched above her head, and she spread her legs to welcome him into her body. He gave her a carnal kiss before he gagged her with the shiny red ribbon adorning his headboard.

Now, he wouldn’t have to share her cries of ecstasy with the others.

He stroked himself as he envisioned teasing her skin with his hands, but right as he reached her dripping pussy, a knock sounded on his door. Startled, he shoved his cock back into his pants and zipped up. Taylor assumed one of his friends was on the other side of the door. 

To his surprise, the object of his fantasies stood in his doorway.

“Hi,” Vicky said in a chirpy voice as he swung the door all the way open, “I wanted to—” 

She smirked when her eyes landed on his erection, which grew harder the longer she stared at him. 

Instead of hiding his lower body behind the door, he stretched his arms above him and leaned his upper body into the door frame. His biceps tugged at the arms of his shirt while his erection pressed against the zipper he tugged only halfway up when she interrupted. 

Taylor knew it was a dick move, and he intended to intimidate her, but Vicky didn’t seem bothered at all. Instead, she licked her lips and dragged her eyes across his body. He hardened further as she caressed him with her heated gaze. Her smile turned coy.

“Why are you here?” he barked at her. 

He wasn’t a great guy, but he would never betray one of his oldest friends. Taylor needed her gone before his cock decided it was in charge.

“Huh? Oh, uh, I wanted to see if you were still willing to allow us to stay this week, or if it was a spur of the moment idea you’ve since regretted.”

“I’m a man of my word.”

“I’ll bet you are,” she purred. “I can help you with that problem you’ve got going on there,” she said as she nodded towards his crotch and licked her lips. 

He narrowed his eyes at her. “What the fuck are you doing? Are you flirting with me? I thought you and Cole already had a thing going.”

She shrugged and moved close enough to trace one of the buttons on his shirt. “We both know it’s nothing serious. It’s not like we’re in a relationship after making out for ten minutes. Both of us are free to pursue other opportunities.” 

“Does he know that?” 

Vicky beamed at him. “I like how much you care about your friend. I like it a lot, and I think I could like you a lot, too. We could have fun, too, you and I.” 

“Is Vicky your real name, or is it a nickname?” 

“It’s Victoria, but I go by Vicky most of the time outside of work. Why?” 

Taylor used his larger size to press her back against the door frame and leaned into her body. He grabbed the back of her neck and gently squeezed it before he bent his head until his mouth was inches from hers. His nose skimmed along her jawline and cheek in a deliberate fashion. 

Her mouth parted in preparation for his kiss, but he drew back instead. 

“Because, Victoria, you and I won’t be having any fun together until Cole knows the score. If he’s cool with sharing his toys, then you and I can explore this… heat between us.” 

Taylor brought the hand on her neck closer to her throat and stroked her soft skin. His other hand yanked her body closer to his. When he rubbed her against his straining erection, he also squeezed her neck. She let out a gasp which turned into a moan when he tightened his hold on her neck. Her eyes flared.

Vicky clutched his ass and pulled him tighter against her. He drew back again, and she whimpered in dismay. She tried to rub against his cock, and he pulled further away. 

“No,” he said in a stern voice. He watched her as he spoke. “If we do this, I call the shots. Not you. With those tits, I’m sure you’re used to getting your way, but I am, too. And I’m bigger, stronger, and willing to hold you down or tie you up to get my way.”

He smiled when her nipples beaded, and her breathing increased. She was excited about what he said, but he needed her words. 

“How does that sound to you? Would you be able to submit to me? Give yourself over to me? Do what I tell you to do?”

“What do you mean, exactly? Are you one of those Dom guys? Is this a BDSM thing?” 

She looked wary now. Good.

“Not really, no. It turns me on to be in charge, but I’m not into pain or serious discipline. Nothing hardcore. I like tying up my partners, telling them what to do”—his voice dropped, and he leaned closer to her—“and then sucking and fucking until they come so many times, they soak the bed.” 

She hissed a breath. 

“Oh, and a little choking and biting,” he said as he stroked the side of her throat. “Maybe some spanking, too. What do you think? Would you like that?”

Vicky’s eyes shone brightly as she let out another whimper. 

“Yes, yes, I like that idea a lot.”

“Then you know what you need to do. Talk to Cole and make sure it’s fine with him if you spend time with both of us. But make no mistake, Victoria,” he leveled a serious look at her, “if he’s not okay with it, you and I are not happening.”

 

About the Author

Penny Heart

I write sexy books about kissing, happy ever afters, and the drama in
between.

I live in the southern US with my husband, kids, and a cat who rules the
house. I spend way too much time on the computer, and only some of it is
looking at NSFW memes or reading romance novels.

 

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The End: Alpha Blitz

The End: Alpha cover

 

YA Christian Sci-Fi/Dystopian

Date Published: 03-05-2025

 

 

When a man in power believes he’s God, mankind doesn’t have a prayer

 

About the Author

Award-winning and bestselling author Aaron Ryan lives in Washington with
his wife and two sons, along with Macy the dog, Winston the cat, and Merry
& Pippin, the finches.

He is the author of the bestselling “Dissonance” 6-book alien
invasion saga, the post-apocalyptic Christian fiction saga “The
End,” the sci-fi thrillers “Forecast” and “The
Slide,” the children’s picture books “The Ring of Truth,”
“The Sword of Joy” and “The Book of Power,” the business
reference business books “How to Successfully Self-Publish &
Promote Your Self-Published Book” and “The Superhero
Anomaly”, 6 business books on voiceovers penned under his former stage
name (Joshua Alexander), as well as a previous fictional novel, “The
Omega Room.”

When he was in second grade, he was tasked with writing a creative
assignment: a fictional book.  And thus, “The Electric Boy”
was born: a simple novella full of intrigue, fantasy, and 7-year-old wits
that electrified Aaron’s desire to write.  From that point forward,
Aaron evolved into a creative soul that desired to create.

He enjoys the arts, media, music, performing, poetry, and being a
daddy.  In his lifetime he has been an author, voiceover artist,
wedding videographer, stage performer, musician, producer, rock/pop artist,
executive assistant, service manager, paperboy, CSR, poet, tech support,
worship leader, and more.  The diversity of his life experiences gives
him a unique approach to business, life, ministry, faith, and
entertainment.

Aaron’s favorite author by far is J.R.R. Tolkien, but he also enjoys
Suzanne Collins, James S.A. Corey, Michael Crichton, Marie Lu, Madeleine
L’Engle, John Grisham, Tom Clancy, Tim Lebbon, Christopher Golden, C.S.
Lewis, Stephen King and Dave Barry.

Aaron has always had a passion for storytelling. Visit the Dissonance saga
website at https://www.dissonancetheseries.com or The End saga website at
https://thisisnottheend.com.

Contact Links

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Life Lessons From Mom Virtual Book Tour

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 For The Man You’ll Become

 

Inspirational Self-Help / Parenting

Date Published: 01-31-2025

 Publisher: Books to Hook Publishing, LLC.

 

 

 

A Mother’s Enduring Wisdom for Her Son.

Inspiration, Guidance, and Lessons for a Meaningful Life.

 

This heartfelt collection offers powerful truths, invaluable insights, and
practical lessons through anecdotes, personal reflections, and uplifting
stories. It’s a must-read for anyone seeking clarity, purpose, and
direction in life.

 

Discover how to:

– Grow Personally and Spiritually: Build self-awareness, make ethical
choices, and draw strength from faith.

– Strengthen Relationships: Foster lasting connections rooted in trust,
respect, and heartfelt communication.

– Overcome Challenges with Resilience: Turn adversity into opportunities
for growth.

– Navigate Life’s Transitions with Confidence: Thrive in every stage,
from career changes and leadership roles to family and
entrepreneurship.

– Live a Meaningful Life: Pursue passions, prioritize well-being, and
create a lasting legacy.

-Achieve Balance: Embrace the 4-Quadrants of Personal
Growth—spiritual, social, intellectual, and financial.

 

Whether you’re a son seeking guidance or a parent sharing wisdom,
this book is a powerful companion for navigating life’s uncertainties
and achieving greatness.

The perfect gift for sons, partners, friends, or anyone searching for
inspiration and guidance to live a meaningful life.

While no book has all the answers, this one provides a wellspring of hope,
support, and actionable inspiration.

From mother to son, these are life lessons every man needs.

A loving reminder: You are never alone, and you are capable of
extraordinary things.

 

Life Lessons From Mom tablet

EXCERPT

“What if the only thing standing between you and a life of purpose is the person you see in the mirror? Before you can make your mark on the world, you must first understand what drives you, fuels your passion, and defines who you are. Without this deep self-awareness, you risk building someone else’s dream instead of your own.”

life lessons from Mom excerpt

About the Author

Amy Tan

Amy Tan is an accomplished business executive and award-winning author with
over twenty years of experience in corporate leadership and market expansion
across Southeast Asia. She holds a Business Administration degree from the
Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology and a Postgraduate Certificate from
the University of Nottingham.

Beyond her corporate role, Amy is a passionate storyteller, weaving her
diverse experiences into narratives that explore personal growth,
resilience, and transformation. Her recent book, Revisiting the Depths –
Overcoming Fear and Finding Peace, which won the Literary Titan Gold Book
Award, recounts her emotional and spiritual journey as she overcomes a
long-held fear of the ocean through diving.

Amy’s latest book, Life Lessons from Mom: For the Man You’ll
Become, is a thoughtfully crafted guide that offers practical wisdom on
navigating life’s challenges, cultivating meaningful relationships,
and building a legacy of love. She is also the author of Doing Business in
ASEAN and China: An Ultimate Guide to Doing Business, which showcases her
expertise in regional economic integration.

Having lived in Malaysia, Thailand, the Philippines, and Indonesia, Amy
brings a rich, cross-cultural perspective to her writing, inspiring readers
to overcome challenges and make positive changes. Her work highlights the
powerful impact of storytelling on personal and professional
development.

 

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The Marker Blitz

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A 20th Century Murder Mystery

Romantic Suspense

Date Published: March 7, 2025

Publisher: Changeling Press

 

 

1974: Peace, love, sex, drugs, and murder — at a commune in the mountains
of West Virginia.

Hope knew she should have killed Jesse the night he used her as his marker
in a poker game with Spike. When Spike won that marker, he stole
Hope’s heart. But Spike wanted more than a weekend with Hope. He
wanted forever. That was more than Hope could promise. A man like Spike, a
good man, would never understand the evil a bastard like Jesse was capable
of.

1989: Now he’s First Sergeant Sam Callaghan, and he’s
back.

When a chance meeting drops Fiona Donovan into the arms of Sam Callaghan,
West Virginia State Police, their past twists in on both of them,
threatening to tear apart their worlds, for better or worse. Hope — Fiona
— was the love of his life, the woman who can still rock his world with a
single kiss. When he’s around her, Sam forgets to think. But first and
foremost Sam’s always been a cop. If Sam discovers Fiona really did
murder Jesse, will he be able to arrest her? There are a few things in
love’s way — like her dead husband’s missing body, over a
million dollars in cash, and the IRA…

The Marker tablet

Excerpt

All rights reserved.

Copyright ©2025 Shelby Morgen

 

The asphalt felt slightly sticky with heat under his black oxfords. The air
in the administration building was already stuffy, though summer wasn’t
officially here yet. Sam stood waiting at the front desk while the
receptionist called for a junior officer who would escort him back to the
operations building.

Brenda, his dispatcher, had asked him out a few weeks ago. A man couldn’t
help noticing how well Brenda filled out that uniform. She wasn’t Hope, but
she’d been there, been part of his life, every day for the last fifteen
years. If she hadn’t given up on him yet, Sam decided, he’d accept. Hell.
Maybe he’d ask her. He wasn’t getting any younger. Besides, there was that
betting pool the squad had going. He wasn’t supposed to know about it, but
there was little in his barracks that escaped his notice.

“Can I help you, Officer?”

Sam pushed his smoke-colored sunglasses to the top of his head long enough
to let his eyes adjust to the relatively dim interior florescent lighting.
He looked down — and down again.

The woman who stood behind the reception desk now had to be less than five
feet tall. She stood admiring him with pale blue eyes that were just a
little too friendly.

Where had she come from? How had she managed to simply appear right in
front of him? He really was losing his edge. “I’m already signed in and
stamped,” Sam explained. He held out his fist so she could see the ink
that looked like a temporary tattoo across the back of his hand.

Her warm appraisal made him uncomfortable, like a piece of meat in a
butcher’s display case. He always got a sick, guilty feeling in the pit of
his stomach when women looked at him that way. He slipped his hand into his
pocket, fingering a worn silver chain.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee…

He shifted his gaze away from direct contact with the woman at the front
desk, studying the pictures on the wall behind her. Anything but meeting the
woman’s watercolor eyes. Anything not to encourage her.

The pictures held the usual faces. The Governor. The Commissioner of
Corrections. The names changed from one institution to another, but the
faces stayed pretty much the same. “Sam Callaghan, West Virginia State
Police. I’m waiting for –“

Except that one. Sam stopped mid-sentence as his eyes scanned the picture
again. Employee of the Month. “Fiona J. Donovan.”

The woman blinked twice. “Excuse me?”

He was hardly aware he’d read the name aloud. Sam rallied himself, forcing
his breathing back under control, willing his pulse rate back to normal. He
turned his most charming smile on the little woman. Her badge said she was a
unit manager. Doris White. “I’m waiting for an escort back to
Interview, Ms. White, but I’d really like to see Fiona Donovan while I’m
here if you could arrange that for me.”

Doris studied him for a moment longer, her smile fading. “Fiona’s in
records, pulling some case files for me. I’ll take you back.”

Sam nodded curtly, dismissing the woman as if she didn’t exist. Because,
for him, she didn’t exist. His mouth went dry. His chest felt tight, as if
there were some great weight pressing on it. He slid his hand back into his
pocket. Hail Mary, full of grace…

The hall seemed like the longest walk he’d ever taken. You’re just
imagining the resemblance. You’ve been wrong before.

The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women…

Why would she be here? He’d thought to find her in a restaurant, or a shop
somewhere or — or anywhere else. Anything but actually working in law
enforcement.

Hope? A caseworker named Fiona Donovan? That can’t be Hope. Not here.

Doris waved at a doorway where a sign on the wall said Records. “I’ll
be around the corner in the copy room if you need me,” she
offered.

Hope…

His heart was beating so fast it was bound to explode.

Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

He stood staring, drinking in the sight of her, waiting for her to feel his
eyes watching, waiting for her to look up, recognize him, call his
name.

Control. Get yourself under control. Slow, deep breaths. Can’t let her see
you falling apart like this.

Her name was different, her hair was shorter, just past shoulder length,
but she couldn’t change her face — the face that had haunted his dreams.
She looked a little older, naturally, but not so much older. Not as much
older as he’d been feeling lately. She’d gained some weight, but only enough
to give her curves a fuller, softer line. He’d have recognized her anywhere.
His arms ached to hold her. He had to try three times before he could find
the voice to speak her name.

“Ms. Donovan?”

About the Author

Shelby Morgen loves writing offbeat tales that defy as many rules as
possible.

She likes chocolate with her peanut butter, suspense with her romance, and
kink with her sex, and she’s always had a hard time keeping murder,
motorcycles, science fiction, fantasy and paranormal from mixing with her
kink.

Shelby shares her belief in electronic publishing with her longtime friend
and partner, Bill, her husband of more than four decades.

 

Publisher on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, & TikTok:
@changelingpress

 

Pre-Order Today

 

 

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Grit & Grace Virtual Book Tour

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The Transformation of a Ship & a Soul

Memoir

Date Published: February 27th, 2025

Publisher: Acorn Publishing

 

 

Deborah Rudell’s world unravels when the leaders of her spiritual
commune are exposed, arrested, and imprisoned for bioterrorism and attempted
murder. Crushed and adrift, she moves her family off the commune to create a
sense of normalcy. But when her husband seeks an opportunity to dismantle
and rebuild a derelict fifty-foot schooner, Deborah uproots their children
once again and joins him in Kauai. For the next five years, she dedicates
her life to restoring a boat.

Pouring herself into the work at hand can only distract her so much as
disillusionment about the cult’s lies and manipulation slowly rises to
the surface. While she grapples with emotional turmoil and contemplates a
new life path, Deborah sets out to accomplish something she never thought
possible: sailing across the Pacific to the Olympic Peninsula. Will the
dangers that come with navigating the ocean be too much to bear, or will she
find resolution and fortitude in the turbulent adventure?

Grit & Grace: The Transformation of a Ship & a Soul is one
woman’s account of conquering overwhelming challenges with tenacity
and ingenuity and ultimately discovering her inner strength.

Grit & Grace tablet

EXCERPT

Pacific Ocean – June 1992
     Even if I screamed no one would hear me over the sound of the waves and the fierce wind; a wind so strong my slender body couldn’t stay upright unless I held onto the boat. It was pitch black, and I was alone on the helm for the predawn watch aboard a fifty-foot wooden schooner. My husband slept in the cockpit, and three more crew members were tied into their bunks below.
     The compass glowed dim red in the blackness, preserving my night vision. It was the only thing my eyes discerned except the occasional foamy wave tops that glowed briefly with limey phosphorescence before being swept under the dark water of the next wave. My fingers, slick with rain and spray, encircled the spokes of the wheel as I adjusted our heading according to the pale numbers of the compass. I struggled to keep the needle on 000, our northerly heading, but the violent pitching of the vessel made it almost impossible.
     The end of June was supposed to be the ideal time to cross the Pacific from Hawaii to Washington, a time when conditions were the most stable. Yet here I was in forty-five knot winds. Technically, a gale.
     Harnessed to the boat, I clung to the wheel with my hands, to the decks with my bare toes, and to the compass heading with my eyes, my mind rapidly spinning out of control. Fear. Panic. Terror. We’ll be swamped, capsize, and drown.
     The sea was immensely powerful. Elixir was puny, fragile like a single piece of straw in a whitewater river. The masts will break off like toothpicks; we’ll tip over and sink. I imagined myself sliding off the boat, the cold water seeping into my foul weather gear, the waves holding my head beneath the foaming sea, breathing in the salty water, gasping.   

     My teeth clamped tight around a paper tongue. No saliva left. I tried licking saltwater from my lips, but I couldn’t swallow. What had I been thinking over the last five years of building this boat and deciding to sail it across the Pacific? How could I have ever thought it would be fun or exciting? How did I ever dare to presume I could learn to be at sea when conditions were less than ideal? Let alone in a gale?
     Unable to find any relief from the deafening noise and violent motion of the storm, I tried to search inside myself for ways to navigate extreme distress and control my panic. All I found were images of me floating face down in the dark waves, alongside the corpses of my husband and son as we drifted among bits of a broken ship. And it was only our third night at sea; we’d only just begun our long ocean journey north.
     What’s that? My mind alerted me. There’s something on the rail. I strained to see through the black night. No, nothing. Yet I sensed something there on the rail, despite the thrashing seas and the wail-scream in the rigging. Whatever it was, the beings I intuited on the rail caught my attention, gradually pulling my focus away from my terror and thoughts of drowning. I had read books about people in life threatening situations, during which they experienced visions or heard voices that assisted them to survive untenable ordeals.
     Angels? Could that be possible? Is this what is happening to me? Has my mind snapped from the intensity of my circumstances?
There seemed to be several of them, round and smushing together. A perception rather than an actual vision, they appeared to be joking with each other, laughing so hard they nearly fell off the rail. I am definitely going off my rails.
     It was as if they were enjoying the ride, and at the same time assuring me that, despite the enormity of the sea and the ferocity of the wind, the elements were merely frolicking. This communication was through a mixture of pictures, words, and feelings conveyed in a flash. Frolicking? Really? Wind at this speed rips branches off trees and causes cars to veer off the road. The extremes of the Pacific Ocean proved larger, stronger, and louder than any thunder and lightning I had ever experienced on the lake where I grew up in British Columbia.

      As a pink blush started to permeate the gray of early day, I could make out the rail, emerging from the dark in a rosy glow, materializing into something solid and real, absent angels or anything else. The boat parts were like apparitions emerging from a fog, once again becoming part of a whole wooden ship.

 

About the Author

Deborah Rudell

A college professor in San Diego, California, Deborah Rudell participates
in her city’s vibrant writing community. She is a graduate of Hay
House Writer’s Workshop and the Certificate in Memoir Writing program
at San Diego Writers, Ink. Her work has been published in the International
Memoir Writers Association’s anthology, Shaking the Tree: I Didn’t See
That One Coming.

Deborah lives with her black cat in a tiny house built in 1906 by a retired
sea captain, who carved a sailing ship into the front door. This is her
first book.

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