An Average Guy’s Guide to Life
Nonfiction / Business
Date Published: Apr 27, 2022
Publisher: Elite Publications
First and foremost, I am not an expert on any of the topics discussed in
this book. Hell, this is my first book so I don’t know if I’m
much of a writer either. I’m an average everyday person like most.
Second, this isn’t a book about martial arts. Sorry if it comes as a
surprise given the title, and a surprise because, yes, that is what I do for
a living. I am a martial arts instructor. I’ve been training for more than
30 years and running a school for more than 20. I have black belts,
accolades, hall of fame inductions, trophies, and all of that. But, to be
honest, so do a lot of instructors. So you’re probably thinking “what
is this book about?”
Well, I will completely admit, I’ve made a lot of mistakes and
screwed up a lot of things. But I think one thing that I’ve been
fortunate with is that I’m pretty good about learning from those
mistakes. So I guess that’s kind of the point of this book; from an
average guy’s point of view. Yes, I’ve spent years teaching martial arts,
and that comes with the responsibility of motivating others. In this book,
I’ll be telling stories that inspire others to strive harder and achieve
more. That’s what a good instructor does, in my opinion. We must be
willing to admit that we don’t know everything and that there is still a lot
to learn, especially when we might fail. I’m not necessarily referring to
punching and kicking. I’m referring to your efforts to better yourself as a
person; learning about how to educate, lead, read people, and motivate
others.
So relax and get ready to have a one-on-one conversation with me. Yes, this
is a conversation between two people rather than a book. This is not me
telling you how to live your life as you read these pages. Rather, as you
hear about my life, you can be reflective and have ideas about your own.
Order your copy of Earn A Blackbelt In…An Average Guy’s Guide to Life
today.
EXCERPT
BE WILLING TO CHANGE
So, to earn a black belt in personal growth we have to first be willing to make changes. I can’t really tell you how big or small these changes are going to need to be. That’s really got to be up to you and your situation. But you’ve got to be OK with change. For example, if you want to get in shape, you have to be willing to make changes to your diet and changes to your routine so you’re getting more exercise. If you’re not willing to make those changes, you’re never going to get into the shape you want.
Yes, change can be scary. Yes, change can be hard. Making change and sticking with it is even harder. I’ve said on the workout floor before, “Everybody wants to be a black belt until it’s time to train like one.” Well, everybody wants to be in shape, and be happy, and make more money, and have positive relationships, and all these different things until they realize they’re going to have to make changes and then stick with them. But massive action and taking risks is a requirement if we want to grow. Change won’t happen without taking a few risks, emotionally and depending on the situation, physically as well. Courage is created through these actions. It builds momentum.
This ends up being an overwhelming idea because most people think that change has to be all or nothing. That it should be 100% changed right away. That’s the problem, if you set yourself up with an overwhelming task, how are you ever going to achieve it? You don’t stand at the bottom of Mt Everest and say, “ok, I’m going to the top.” You make a plan to deal with all the little things that you will need to do and prepare to get there. You break down the endgame with smaller, more manageable parts.
You’ve got to think about making small amounts of change over a period of time. If you know you’re not good at communication, you aren’t just magically going to go out and start having in-depth conversations with people. Instead, you start by setting smaller goals. Start by saying “hello”. Or just asking someone how their day is. When they open up to you, you’ve got to open up to them. You don’t have to go crazy, but you’re sharing a little bit and that’s going to start to build your confidence. Then you build from there. No, that’s not going to happen instantaneously or even be easy. If you want to change a behavior or build a skill it takes time and effort.
Any goal you want to achieve, anything you want to improve, any changes you want to make, have to be broken down into actionable steps. Whether that growth has to be done one percent at a time or 10% at the time. As long as there is progress, then you’re on your way.
HONEST SELF EVALUATION
Now, if you’re willing to change, you also have to figure out what it is that you want to change. Or just improve on. You need to be clear on what you are looking to improve or change in order for growth to happen. I can’t tell you what you need to change. That’s where you have to be really honest with yourself. Take some time and have some serious introspection on the person you want to be or what areas of your life you are looking to improve on.
So, this requires some thought. Not just a quick, “Oh I need to have a better relationship with my partner”.
Ok, so why do you? What are you doing that makes you feel that way? What can you do to make it better? How do they feel about this? What are you willing to compromise and what aren’t you?
We can be really good at making excuses and lying to ourselves. Shifting the blame onto someone else or some external factor of why things are a certain way.
About the Author
I’m New Jersey born and raised. I’ve been studying martial arts for over 30
years and have been running my martial arts school, Union UTA Martial Arts
for over 20 years. One thing you should know about me is that I’m just an
average guy…and I’m more passionate about learning and teaching now than
I’ve ever been.
I’m a multiple time inductee of the United States Martial Arts Hall of
Fame. I’m so thankful for the many opportunities I’ve had. In 2017 I
partnered with SAMI Combat Systems international to have the 1st SAMICS
school in the Western Hemisphere.
I’m an avid motorcycle rider and I love to travel. I live with my wife and
teenage daughter in western NJ, I’m an active member in the community, plus
I believe deeply in the value of martial arts training as a vehicle for
self-improvement.
See. I’m just an average, everyday guy and I wrote this book Earn A
Blackbelt In…An Average Guy’s Guide to Life because I truly believe that
my stories of failing, winning, failing and winning over and over again will
inspire you on your journey.
As such, I’m excited to meet you and motivate you with this book on not
necessarily how you earn that black belt, but why you should earn that black
belt. Who knows, maybe after this book some might consider me an expert, but
I certainly don’t.
I hope you get as much out of my book as I did writing it!
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