Tag Archives: mystery

Zither! Blitz

 

Zither! cover

Metafiction/Humor/Mystery

 

Date Published: April 20th, 2021

Publisher: Zither Studios

A nutty religious cult abducts a herd of prime gazebos (huh?) and it’s up to bumbling P.I. Mars Candiotti to rescue them. Mars, aspiring author, chronicles his quest in Jeffrey Hanlon’s comic mystery Zither

 Guided by his magically prescient IHOP waitress, Mars strives to mitigate the shocking global consequences of the gazebo heist, even though he has no idea what the word mitigate means. Mars has five Important clues with which to solve his confounding mystery: Butterscotch, John Travolta, Trombones Venetian Blinds, and Wind Chimes. 

 As Zither swallows its own tale, Mars finds it increasingly tricky to distinguish between real people and his rambunctious fictional characters. Zither becomes the romper room where his reality meets fantasy – and get frisky with each other. 

 Using his (odd) clues, Mars’ international odyssey leads to an explosive conclusion in Panama. TVs around the world tune in to watch live coverage of “Carnage in the Canal”. 

 Amid the lunatic havoc that is Zither there is (of course!) an epic love story as Mars meets Marian, the brainy librarian he had dreamed of. Marian says his books are “slapstick existentialism with subjective reality couched in parable”. (This is news to Mars). But is Marian real? 

 Is any of it real?

 

“Hanlon’s humor shines bright and will leave fans of such madness wanting more.” Publishers Weekly 

 “This zany, rollicking mystery adventure is as compelling as it is hilarious.” Independent Book Review 

 Nominated for the prestigious Audie Award, Best Fiction 2021

 

About the Author

Jeffrey Hanlon

Jeffrey Hanlon spends his time in shorts and sandals making up silly stories like Zither.

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Ceremony Virtual Book Tour

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 Murders for Substance, Book 1

Mystery

 

Date Published: 08-17-2021

Publisher: Pax Ardsen

Dr. Kep Woodhead is a brilliant, irascible forensic toxicologist with a dark past. Bernadette Becker is a disgraced federal investigator with one last chance. They’re both assigned to a strange poisoning case: a graduate student has been found dead in a 15th-century chapel, a needle filled with a controversial hallucinogen sticking out of his arm. The priest, the professor, the piscary president, the protestor, the protégé—they all emerge as suspects to stop the victim’s research project, and soon Becker’s life is in danger. Do Becker and Woodhead have a prayer of discovering the truth before more people are killed?

 

Ceremony tablet

EXCERPT

He ducked through the doorway, pushed his glasses up, then raised his nose and sniffed.

“Dr. Woodhead, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Bernadette stuck out her hand in greeting.

 He closed his eyes and held up an index finger. Bernadette lowered her hand. Detective Dunn looked over her shoulder at Bernadette, who gave a slight shrug. 

Bernadette could almost hear the seconds tick by in her head. 

Finally, Dr. Woodhead opened his eyes and pointed to the table on the altar holding a brass censer, a sphere resting on a stand with notches in the top half and an ornate cross on the lid. “Did the CSI team say how long ago that incense was burned?” 

The detective followed his gaze. “No. Not since the body was found, anyway. I don’t think.” She hesitated, then spoke quickly. “And I’m Detective Kerrigan Dunn, Milwaukee Police.” She didn’t offer her hand.

“Most of the incense had already been burned, judging from the smell. Benzoin was used.” Woodhead sniffed again, ignoring Dunn. “I’m getting other styrax scents as well; perhaps a touch of frankincense. Is incense used in the services? Are there even services held here?”

Kerrigan Dunn nodded. “The Anglicans have their service Sunday morning, of course.” Detective Dunn took out her notebook and consulted it. “We’ve got a group of Seventh-Day Adventists Saturday, a small Presbyterian group Sunday evening. Tuesday, of course, it’s the Agios Delphi people.”

“I didn’t have time to research them much,” Bernadette said. “It’s an odd name for a church. Delphi was the name of the oracle from Oedipus Rex. Is it Greek Orthodox?”

The detective scoffed. “It’s no kind of orthodox. More like a pyramid scheme dressed in religious clothing.”

“It’s not a mainstream denomination,” Bernadette said.

“If I recall correctly, our victim was a member.” Dr. Woodhead opened his folder. “Yes, here it is: ‘Mr. Thompson was a member of a local church called Agios Delphi.’” He turned a page. “Agios Delphi of Greater Milwaukee. Kymer Thompson was an elder.” Woodhead glanced up at the detective. “Twenty-five and an elder. That’s humorous.” He did not smile. 

Bernadette chewed her bottom lip. Woodhead had a point: he was young to have such an elevated position in the church. “Detective, the Agios Delphi group meets here on Tuesday, correct? But last night was Monday.”

“Right,” Dunn affirmed.

“So why was Mr. Thompson inside the chapel yesterday?”

“Perhaps he was trying to, I don’t know, cleanse the bad juju from the chapel for tonight’s service. Maybe that’s one of the things the elders have to do for the, uh, church.” Dunn landed on the last word harder than necessary.

“Detective Dunn,” Dr. Woodhead said absently, reading the report from the folder, “are you able to maintain impartiality, or will your opinion of the victim’s religion color your investigation?”

Dunn formed her hands into a steeple. “I haven’t said anything that isn’t relevant to the investigation, Dr. Woodhead. This organization is known to use methods to separate their congregation from their money. I have a thick folder back at the District 5 station full of fraud allegations. Widens the net we need to cast for suspects.”

Woodhead raised his head, a smile touching the corners of his mouth—the smile looked friendly, but his eyes flashed behind his glasses. “You haven’t answered my question. Will your dislike of Agios Delphi affect your ability to investigate this crime?”

“I believe I’m more familiar with Agios Delphi than you are.” Dunn crossed her arms. “And like I said, I haven’t said anything irrelevant.”

“CSAB was called,” Bernadette broke in, “because your M.E. strongly suspects that ibogaine caused Mr. Thompson’s death. That requires investigation—ibogaine is a class 1 controlled substance. We need to work together.” But she couldn’t catch Woodhead’s eye when she said it.

Dunn pressed her lips together and was silent. 

Woodhead looked up at the vaulted ceiling. “So Agios Delphi uses this space for their services on Tuesday nights?”

“Yes.”

“How did Mr. Thompson get in here?”

“According to the docent, he was one of the two people from the Delphi group who had a key. He was an elder in the organization, and he lived in university-owned housing, so he was close.”

“Who’s the other member with a key?” Woodhead asked.

“Vivian Roundhouse.”

Bernadette remembered the name from her file. “Ms. Roundhouse is the Agios Delphi priest.”

Woodhead flipped back a page. “Ah. Yes.” He turned to face the back wall, stepping closer until his nose was only an inch or two from the stones. Pushing his glasses up again, he took a long whiff and kept sniffing.

After the third sniff, the muscles around Woodhead’s eyes tightened.

Uh oh. That wasn’t a good sign.

He opened his eyes and looked at Detective Dunn.

“Is something wrong?” the detective said.

And then Bernadette caught the faintest whiff of it—perfume. And not the same scent the docent wore.

“You—” Woodhead began.

Then Bernadette caught his eye. She set her mouth in a line. He had already upset Detective Dunn by questioning her ability to stay neutral. They needed Dunn on their side—and if he insulted her again, she might not be cooperative. “I tried to reach you several times, Dr. Woodhead.”

“Yes, I know.”

That wasn’t a response she’d expected. “I’d hoped you would give me some direction on clearing the crime scene for you so this kind of thing wouldn’t happen.”

Woodhead looked at Bernadette impassively. “It wouldn’t have helped. You wouldn’t have been able to prepare it to my satisfaction.”

Oof. Martin’s letter was prescient.

“Does someone want to tell me what’s going on?” Dunn asked.

Woodhead turned to face her. “You’re contaminating the crime scene.”

Dunn narrowed her eyes. “Excuse me? I haven’t touched anything.”

“It’s not—”

Bernadette steeled herself and interrupted. “Dr. Woodhead, as I’m sure you saw on TV, has a gift for identifying subtle scents. It’s what makes his expertise in poisoning cases such as this so invaluable. But”—she gave Woodhead a questioning look, then spoke haltingly—“perfumes, strong deodorant soaps—those can mask the scents he’s trying to find at the crime scenes.”

“Oh,” Detective Dunn said.

Theme Music.” Woodhead muttered. “Obviously.”

“What?” Bernadette said. “Did you say Theme Music?”

Dunn glanced at Bernadette. “He’s right. The name of my perfume—Theme Music.”

“That’s correct,” Woodhead said tersely. “Would you step outside?”

“Outside the crime scene?”

“Yes.” Woodhead lifted a hand, palm in, fingers down, and made a shooing motion.

Bernadette winced.

Dunn scoffed. “Sure. Wouldn’t want to disturb the famous TV star with my overpowering stench.” She walked out, not quite stomping, into the snowy day, but left the front door open.

“We haven’t been properly introduced, Dr. Woodhead,” Bernadette said, keeping her hands down. “I’m your new case analyst. Bernadette Becker.”

“Salmon will mask scents too,” Woodhead said.

Bernadette cocked her head. 

“What?”

“Salmon. You must have had some earlier.”

“Not since last night, and I showered and brushed my teeth twice since then. Surely I don’t—”

“You smell like urine.”

Bernadette took a step back.

“The trimethylamine oxide in the salmon breaks down into ammonia. Very similar scent profile to urea. It’s extremely distracting.”

Bernadette shook her head and followed the detective out the front door. 

“He’s a real charmer,” Dunn said under her breath.

Bernadette grunted. “Yeah. We’re getting along like a house on fire.”

About The Author

Paul Austin Ardoin

Paul Austin Ardoin is the Amazon bestselling author of The Fenway Stevenson Mysteries. Book 1, THE RELUCTANT CORONER, is his debut novel. He has published short fiction and humorous essays in the anthologies Bottomfish and Sweet Fancy Moses, and non-fiction works about computer security in California Computer News and European Communications.

Paul is a California native who put his creative writing degree to use by authoring marketing materials for computer security companies for the better part of two decades. When he’s not writing novels or trying to save the world through better computer security, Paul plays keyboards in a dance rock band. He lives in the Sacramento area with his wife, two teenagers, and a menagerie of animals.

Join Paul’s mailing list at paulaustinardoin.com for news about new books.

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Absolution Blitz

 

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Mystery, Thriller

 

 

Release Date: September 2, 2021

Publisher: ‎Black Rose Writing

A teenager, Joey “Noonz” Mastronunzio, is forced to participate in a home invasion in Queens leaving a young couple dead and their infant son an orphan.

Although he did not pull the trigger, he is determined to atone for his actions that night by joining the Marines Corps and then joining the seminary after his military service. The baby, Michael Simon, grows up to become an NYPD homicide lieutenant determined to locate and arrest the “guy who got away” from the scene of the murders. When Lieutenant Simon finally discovers the identity of the second perpetrator, he is shocked to learn he has known him most of his life.

What follows is an unlikely alliance between Simon and the Bishop of Brooklyn as they uncover the rampant pedophilia in the Church. Battling threats, intrigue, deception, and murder, the duo comes up against the highest echelons of power in the NYPD and the Church as both institutions desperately seek to keep their records of depravity and coverups from ever being released to the public.

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About The Author

Henry Hack

Henry Hack served for twenty-two years in the Nassau County, NY Police Department. He commanded the Scientific Investigation Bureau and was qualified as an expert witness in several forensic evidence areas. He also commanded the Eighth Patrol Precinct. Henry has published ten crime novels in two series. A lifelong New Yorker, he currently resides in North Carolina with his wife, Lorraine. Descriptions of his work can be found on his website, www.henryhack.com.

His novel, Forever Young, the fourth in the Danny Boyland series, won the Silver Falchion Award for the best police procedural in 2017. (Awarded at the 2018 Killer Nashville Writer’s Conference.)

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MOVES Blitz

 

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Mystery, Crime, Thriller

 

 

Date Published: 7/7/16

In the blink of an eye, Robert Jake’s perfect life became hell.

Jake, a radio talk show host with a pregnant wife, had the perfect life until, in a moment of “Patriotic Stupidity” he decided to stop talking for a living and start shooting to help his country.

Deployed to Iraq, he barely made it home alive, shot-up and full of shrapnel, after a fatal ambush.

Moves is a mixture of single parent meets thriller, action, and suspense in bucket loads. If you like intrigue, plots with twists and turns, a little bit of romance and a story that keeps you holding your breath until the very last page; read on. Moves is a chess game of a page turner, where each chapter keeps you trying to outguess the killer.

We encounter Robert Jakes story, and the stories of those around him, at several points as flashbacks and therapy start to fill in aspects of his past. Jakes suffers with memory loss, bouts of depression and anger caused through PTSD. During an ambush 18 soldiers under his command lost their lives. His wife having died of breast cancer forces him to be a single parent to Rose, his young daughter, whom he loves deeply. She has inherited a little of both her parents, mom’s DNA and his love for flying. He will do anything to protect her. Not understanding why, his life suddenly becomes complicated when the murders of the Dallas District Attorney and two innocent women seem to be connected to him. He gets help from a colleague to help join the dots as his life tumbles out of control.

Jakes life is now embroiled with murder attempts, not only on himself, but on the important people in his life. He has to dig in deep to keep himself balanced while trying to figure out, what the hell is going on.

MOVES phone


About the Author

John Michaels

After many successful years in the broadcasting world, working as a sought-after radio personality, John Michaels was prompted into a writing career by a casual remark over a meal in a restaurant.

John’s former girlfriend gets credit for putting the writing bug in his head. They were having lunch and she was reading the first part of a memoir he had written. She reached over and stopped his fork midway between food and mouth and said, “This is terrific.” Five minutes later, she kept another fork from reaching its destination with, “You should write a novel. Make it a crime novel. It’ll be good.”

His first novel, ‘Moves’ was just that, a fast-moving thriller. However, it took him 12 years to finish, but he had really good excuses.

When he began to write, there were huge amounts of time when he had no time. Throat cancer surgery and subsequent radiation capped off with a subdural hematoma wiped out an entire year. Months were spent learning how to put a book together. Reading Steven King’s ‘On Writing’ helped.

John has had a love of the science fiction genre which he got into at the age of 10. He is following his passion for reading and taking it into writing, He is already working on his second novel which will be a sci-fi.

As a reader, his favorite Sci-Fi authors are Robert Heinlein, Philip K Dick, Issac Asimov, Carl Sagan, Arthur C Clarke, Ray Bradbury and a lot more.

Away from sci-fi, he loves Elizabeth Kolbert, Lee Child, Barry Eisler, Michael Connelly, John Sandford, Walter Isaacson and a hundred other talented women and men who offer you an escape into whatever world they have created.

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Ceremony Blitz

Ceremony cover

 Murders for Substance, Book 1

Mystery

 

Date Published: 08-17-2021

Publisher: Pax Ardsen

Dr. Kep Woodhead is a brilliant, irascible forensic toxicologist with a dark past. Bernadette Becker is a disgraced federal investigator with one last chance. They’re both assigned to a strange poisoning case: a graduate student has been found dead in a 15th-century chapel, a needle filled with a controversial hallucinogen sticking out of his arm. The priest, the professor, the piscary president, the protestor, the protégé—they all emerge as suspects to stop the victim’s research project, and soon Becker’s life is in danger. Do Becker and Woodhead have a prayer of discovering the truth before more people are killed?

 

About The Author

Paul Austin Ardoin

Paul Austin Ardoin is the Amazon bestselling author of The Fenway Stevenson Mysteries. Book 1, THE RELUCTANT CORONER, is his debut novel. He has published short fiction and humorous essays in the anthologies Bottomfish and Sweet Fancy Moses, and non-fiction works about computer security in California Computer News and European Communications.

Paul is a California native who put his creative writing degree to use by authoring marketing materials for computer security companies for the better part of two decades. When he’s not writing novels or trying to save the world through better computer security, Paul plays keyboards in a dance rock band. He lives in the Sacramento area with his wife, two teenagers, and a menagerie of animals.

Join Paul’s mailing list at paulaustinardoin.com for news about new books.

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