Strategies for Becoming Smarter in Managing Stress

Nonfiction / Self-Help

Date Published: February 12, 2025

A Practical Guide for Learning Ways to Better Manage Stress

How do you experience more joy each day and remain productive and focused
on what is most important to you despite sometimes being surrounded by the
dark clouds of stress circling overhead or looming on the horizon? Lessen
the Stressin’ effectively answers this challenging question by
providing a comprehensive review of practical strategies and information
essential to managing stress. Conceived and written with the goal of
offering an enlightening training opportunity, this book also includes
self-assessments and anecdotes to enhance learning. In addition, there are
chapters focused on ways for handling stress generated in three areas often
found to be particularly problematic – conflict, change, and
communication, including digital communication. Dr. German’s insights
and thorough coverage of easy to implement strategies help contribute to the
optimistic feeling that with some effort, it is possible to successfully
manage stress in an increasingly complex world.

EXCERPT

INTRODUCTION

Music and songs have been such a big part of my life that it seems fitting to begin this new venture in writing with the words from a piece of music which has had much meaning to me over many years.

“…I see skies of blue and clouds of white.

The bright blessed day. The dark sacred night.

And I think to myself. What a wonderful world…

I hear babies cry. I watch them grow.

They’ll learn much more than I’ll ever know.

And I think to myself. What a wonderful world…”

Beautiful thoughts from an inspirational song entitled What a Wonderful World (0.2), made into a commercial recording success by a world famous gravelly-voiced jazz musician. In many ways, the world growing up felt as if it was a wonderful world for me. There was always a meal on the table and a roof over my head. We didn’t have a great abundance of material goods, but I never felt I was missing anything. My family, both my immediate and extended one, provided an important element of love and support as I grew. And then there was my neighborhood in the borough of The Bronx in New York City. Being raised here offered a special community of individuals and families from diverse backgrounds, and a group of peers who engaged in a range of creative games on the street that friends from the area continue to talk about decades later. It was a special and unique shared experience. Everything felt right.

Yet, as I grew into my teen years, I began to have a dance with this uncomfortable feeling I could not understand at the time, an emotion I could not identify with any name. I started to become aware of how my background was different in many ways from others in the neighborhood I spent time with. I also had an increased awareness of growing at a slower pace than many of the other boys my age, at least until my later years in high school. In addition, I felt the pressure in school of getting good grades and competing for a spot on a championship swimming team. And then there were the occasional problems in my family which would produce this same vague feeling.

While not being able to put a label on this feeling at the time, I knew that it was not a comfortable experience. The feeling became more pronounced during my third year in college after I returned from a wonderful summer of work in Yellowstone National Park. Unfortunately, the trip home was interrupted by a near-fatal car accident in which I was thrown from a vehicle traveling at highway speed and had to be transported by ambulance to a small hospital in rural Wyoming where I stayed for what felt like an eternity. Just following a beautiful experience working in the park, this terrifying accident was my first encounter with how fragile life could be. Returning to school, my grades fell dramatically, and my plans for what would follow college became increasingly fuzzy. It was tough to figure out what was going on in my world.

I first learned a label for the vague feeling I had been experiencing when I was a graduate student in an experimental psychology program in my early 20s. Stress is what it is called, and it was one of the body’s reactions, I understood, when the surrounding world appears to be heading in an ominous direction. A lot of what had been going on for me during the past years started to make sense, at least somewhat. I also began to see for the first time that this thing called stress could be observed in others. In particular, I thought of my uncles during my childhood.

Each of them had served on the front lines of combat during the second world war, and a couple of them had been injured in battle. Being a boy who used to play with toy soldiers and create street games around “war battles” with friends in the neighborhood, I would often approach these uncles seeking to hear their stories of being in the war. All that I would get in return from them was some minimal communication followed by a blank stare into space. The stress of their experiences, I surmised many years later, created a protective bubble around them so they would not have to deal with the memories of the horrors they likely encountered in combat.

After graduating college with a degree in chemistry and finishing my one year of graduate school in experimental psychology, I hadn’t the slightest clue of what I would like to do to earn money in a career. A wise aunt suggested I try teaching. Why I did not know at the time; still, with limited training, I began a career in public education that would last for decades. I was assigned to teach science in one of the most challenged areas of New York City. The school operated in a sea of poverty, crime, and addiction, and I could see the impact of stress on the lives of children and their families on a regular basis.

Despite the limited resources available, it was a beautiful experience to be there, one in which I connected with the students and their families, and I saw how important a devoted teacher could be in the lives of young people. I still remember to this day, decades later, many of the wonderful encounters with the students I taught and their families. What I learned about myself during this period was that I wanted to pursue a career in which I could help others to deal with the challenges encountered in their lives.

A career in education, beginning as a guidance counselor, then becoming a school psychologist, and finally shifting to leadership roles as a special education and pupil services administrator in the public schools is what resulted from this choice. In addition, I was fortunate to have the opportunity as part my journey to become a counseling psychologist and to maintain a private practice using my training. In these diverse roles, it was a blessing for me to have individuals I encountered, including students, parents, staff, and private clients, share with me their stories as part of a process for moving ahead towards a better place in their lives. It was constantly reinforced for me through these conversations the power that stress could have over our lives if we let it. Relationships and daily experiences which should be joyful and give energy to our lives could easily lose their glitter if stress was allowed to have an impact.

As I reflected on the reason for writing this book, I recalled the good feelings I had experienced as a child which shaped my view that the world around me could be a special and positive place to be in. In going forward with this effort of putting my perspectives and knowledge into a book, I am reminded that the darkness of stress can sometimes appear to be lurking on the horizon waiting to block out the light that joy can provide. However, there are actions which can be taken to allow us to experience more fully the enjoyment that life might offer. Given the research which has taken place on stress, and the information that has become publicized in recent years, there are practical tools, based on solid data and principles, available for everyone to use on a daily basis for managing stress.

The goal I had when beginning this book was to organize the volumes of information available about stress into a meaningful and practical format for reading. My hope was that individuals reading the book could feel optimistic that it is possible to manage their stress in order to discover the positives in their world. How to choose from all the information available and then present it in a relevant way was the first challenge I faced before sitting down to write. In the end, I reflected on all the conversations I had with those I sought to help and decided to include material that would be broad in nature and pertinent to the lives of these individuals.

In doing so, I have put together a collection of skills, strategies, and knowledge that could be a resource for individuals seeking to help themselves, or for those working with a mental health professional. Based on what I learned from my work with clients, I have organized this information into chapters focusing on areas that I thought would be useful. In particular, I refer to the chapters on self-awareness, communication, conflict, and change. In many cases, an entire book could be written on some of the ideas embedded in these chapters. If the information provided in this book is not sufficient for some, hopefully, the sources identified will serve as a starting point for more investigation.

As I end this introduction to my book, I am reminded of the words to the song with which I began this section. Yes, it can be a wonderful world, although maybe not every day, and perhaps not to the same degree or in the same way for everybody. Nevertheless, with this possibility in mind, it is my hope that in reading this book, you, the reader, will discover productive ways of working through the dark cloud which stress can create at times and will be able to add a little sunshine to each day, and that these days will increase in number and frequency one day at a time.

About the Author

Dr. Steven German is a licensed psychologist and nationally certified
counselor who has sought throughout his professional career to help others
deal with the potentially negative impact of stress. This goal has been
achieved while serving as a guidance counselor, school psychologist, and
special education director in the public schools, as a trainer and
consultant in the outplacement field, as a psychologist with the Medical
Service Corps of the U.S. Army Reserves, and in his private practice of
almost three decades. In addition to his published works, he has delivered
training for organizations on topics related to stress. In his spare time,
Dr. German enjoys hiking, traveling, singing, working on small building
projects, and spending quality time with family and friends.

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